You have ;4

Another round of stairing at the swirls in the ceiling intwined along with...cureosity? Upon if tomarrow was my Day. How it was gonna go down. Crushed? Impaled? Ripped in two? Hang myself? Decapitate myself. And as always The voice of the real underdog me "Bring it on fuckers!!" It'sno wonder im always into trouble.
That being said. Jason and i got into the "Hanger" early to get the "yaarder  set up" from Scott. So first breakfast was quick. Second breakfast, the sun was barely rising and my eyes were doing what i began to refer to as "Rein of Fire" when we were pulling up our customers driveway. He, standing infront of of his garage first breakfast inhand.
"We got this!" over and over quietly putting myself in a "zone" for a tree "I could do with myeyes wide shut." Yet another claim that would be put tothe test, so ta speek. Hauling up gear to the base of the removal Whatever his name was (home owner) and his wife decided to add for another 500 green backs. It stood atop another small incline adjacent to a vinal fence and the garage.
 The coffee, Rockstar combo had run it,s course, upon arival i was peeing like a Madd pisser. The last few "leeks" yeilding little to just a few drops but still i fetl as though i had to piss fire. When i got my Dr's bag and all my tools upto the removal i ran(shuffeled) off to release the flames my unit told my brain it had to breeth. One thing thats neerly impossible, climbing with unit distress. Try and try, finaly, a dribble. That was enough for my eye.s to override the unit. Scrambling back, wiggeling into my gear, setting up the wrap and block, explain the need and function and what to do in they'r application. Mike told me hehad never done any blocking with big wood. Seemed like EVERY FUCK-N-TIME!! there was big wood to be rigged, my help was always a Greenhorn to its precision. After the first blockout if you dont have your helps undevided attention. Something's been distroyed and/or someones eather seriously hurt or dead.
There are so many OCD component's to all climbers style. One of many many many i have is the points on my hooks. After doing my whole routeen basacwards they were as sharp as rubber weenee.
Halfway into my acent, in the middle of a pretty good pace, that feeling of  spent uranium coolant returned. "Fuck it" its all in yer head man" almost into the top "Fuck dude your gonna piss your drawers!" old man and his wife now on the patio, eyes glued. "Ya mess yer trousers they say! Gal's watch'n and all!" "Fuck it!!! we're committed!!!" Then...i really thought about it. It took all of about a 10th of a second. "You really want ta smell like piss all day!? All sticky and shit!!!?" I could no longer take it. As i swore to myself i was already downloading pee, i threw a runnin bowline around the trunk with Ivy, looped an 8 inline, clicked out my flip line and hit the earth in a single bound. With the quickness of a sloth i was at my chosen trunk, saddle falling around my ankles. Whiped out my unit that was!!.......as dry as could be? Checked my drawers "Dry!?..... O'God, O'God, O'God, Come'On!" Never had i felt like this before. I had herd of storys about warts and differet type of VD. It crossed mymind breiffly before my "pee or flight" took over and i desperately began to"Digg" with my abbs for pee!!?,..CSF!!?...the mucus of my eyes!!?...snott!??..."Fuckn anything!, please..." My voice coming from the bilge of my lungs. Then a squirt. "O'God yes!" Then a weak as hell stream "O'God yes!' And then it stoped. Did'nt matter the visual alone brought on a sense of extacy. This time i was able to get back up the pine with the pee feeling at a minamum. Got the top roped out, and for first time blocking,Mike operated the rigging line like a pro. Following every step explained to the T. I wwas comfortable giveing him bigger and bigger blocks, which got me back to the earth that much quicker.
When i finaly had dirt under the neath of my boots and unlatched my flip line, i did'nt colaps, but began stumbling, to my ass, but used my cooth acting skills to make it appeer done on purpose. Coping a seat in the middle of a bunch of dog shit. Realizing this i still focused on removeing my hooks. Freeing up my feet i sortn of did a bit of break danceing to get to my feet. Standing up the sweet aroma of dog shit shadowing me. "Maaaaan my saddel better not have fuckn dog shit on it!" Striping off my Tree Motion as quickly as possible. Eyeballing the saddle as i pulled my last leg out. "O thank God! i brought it up in front of me for furter inspection "Clean!  we can deal with it on our pants, just throw em away at the end of the day." Putting my glove back on to wipe off what i could "Would'nt cha know it" it began to rain like hell. "Come'on Chris!" Mike and the old man were calling out from inside the garage. Went for my Motion and Rainmaned my way to the shelter.
They had a lawnchair opened and set up i did'nt listen for the invetation for. Casualy checkn out the bottoms of my Spotivas for shit. Not wanting to drag dogshit into the spotless garage. "Musta lucked out." and knocked off a semisolid pile. Taking a breath and relaxing, the old man doing the samething in the chair next to mine, gazeing the rain.
It was a very very short gaze. Broken by the "Dog" shit vapors that had now invaded Grandpa's personal space. Clearly, violated. There was no hesitation in the old boy's displeasure as he looked right at me drew in a huge whiff and blew it back out with the force of a farmers snott blow. To which i immeditely reackted with a  search for "bin laddin" to no avial. Instantly realizing "O'God no!" my search, as i got up,"No way!!" did'nt include, Rainmaning my way through the  "My Fuckn pants!?" Making my way around to the blindside of any truck that could afford me some cover
At first i was just drop trou and let whatever fall asit may. Then was just gonna shove a bare hand down there. Then, my "Navy SEAL, McGruber, Ninja training" smacked the shock right ouda me just in time. Carefully i inscerted my hand down my drawers but not my underdrawers. Contouring the small of my back on to the Hanes down to the orphas area.
A new wave of shock. How do i clean up the small clay like cluster i identifyed upon palpation. Whats more  is there more?
Wasnt waitn around to talk to the fuckn media about it eather. In that cab and down the road trying so hard not to sit flaaat,hauln ass, countn turns and keeping vigulent for any stop signs, all the while not feeling from the waist down. Well thats just one hell of a fucking trick.