I see ;7

Night time is when things always seemed to be there worst. Pain increased, those ants that tormented me all the time would rrrrrrreally go to town at night.
When i would sit-lay down, it was never for more than ten or so minutes. Between the inability to get into a position of comfort and the fear that my body would not get up agian, i would constantly do the "rounds" stagering the loop though the rooms in my house.
While in the middle of some laps one night my legs began to sorta hyperextend. I would go to take a step and my knee joint would not just lock up but it actually felt as though it should be working in reverse of what that joint is supposed to. Sorta like a kangaroo, obviously whith out all the fuckn hopping. Sometimes this would cause alot of pain because at times, somehow my brain had convinced my knee that "this is how we're gonna do things bitch!". I seriously thought my knee cap was gona moonwalk itself to the pit of my leg. When this would happen it was excrusiating. To break the trance my brain had on the joint i would bitch slap the shit outa my knee pits. This caused me tohit the earth quite a bit, glancing off of funiture at times.took there toll on my hot bodd.
The bowell issues i had endured up till now had me so scared i was gonna shit my pants at any time, all the time. With an inability to identify much less hold any kind of gas! When i walked around gas would do what it always does. But i could not do what i would udoubtibly do like regulate my trasmision in the immediate atomosphere. "Thhhhup thhhhhup thhhhuuuuuupp!!!" That would send me to the banyo like every twenty minutes. Not wanting to ever share an Idaho experence with the fam, i was taking no chances. Doing the stand up sit down, check, stand up and squat real slow like soas to coax anything hiding out, give the Elvis push, check agian. Sometimes i would preform this systems check four or five times. These new proceedures took there toll on the familys cache of buttwipe. Thank the lord for Cosco and the kirkland family reunion sized TP.
It probibly goes without saying but i'll say it anyhow. These many throne visits caused a serious case of ONE RED ASS. In my case, uber monkey butt. Any normal dayly ache or pain one has to endure, could be mutiplyed by like 8 sometimes 10 at others.
One night, while in transit to the beloved banyo i damn near riped off my lower jaw possibly my whole fuckn face.
Making it in with the stealth of a junky, closing the door then i would turn on the light. It was while doing this that it happend. After fliping the switch on i turned to stager twords the throne but my feet did'nt recive the memo and stayed planted. Same old shit except my decent was delayed by the hang up between my jaw and the countertop. It all happend so quick the reflex to self preserve was so weak it could not be implimented till damn near impact. So my jaw hung on the countertop just right, it got to bear the weight of my body, causing my whole head to roll back in pez dispencer fashion. Not only that but i felt pain at the base of my skull which had me in fear of jamming my brainstem out the top of my dome.
When the dust settled i was on the floor laboring to breeth, unable to swallow with a torn up face. It was so painfull. Instinktively i felt around my grill just knowing my lower jaw was gonna be hangn by one side or the other, which it wasnt.
By now my wife was thuroghly awake and rushed in "What the fuck!!?"
The next day i was walking through the family room to the kitchen for fresh coffee and stoped to look out a window. As i finished my gaze agian i turned to make my way to the coffee, agian my feet did'nt budge. My balance and weight were forced tword the window "Oh fuck!!" Knowing the outcome of this could be with me bleeding to death.
Its funny, there a few different ways i react to things. One way is to simply stop the action. Another is to choose the lesser of two evils. Another is tocover up and just accept im about to hurt. But with a double pained window, my mind simply will not be silenced with "cover up and except". No my mind goes into worst case senario in certian situations, such as this. Lots of different visuals play in my head in like a milisecond. The outcomes played in my head involved me being damf neer halfed were it not for my spine. One played with the outcome every artery in my upper body sliced. Another had my body coming to rest in the family room and my head rolling to rest in the backyard.
The out come my mind did'nt give an possibility to was: As they all begain. With me falling like a tree sighted for the center of the pane of glass. Me straitarming my arm like a dumb ass for impact knowing full well i would probibly lose my arm."Better my arm than being halfed or Ichibod Craned" I did'nt know what else to do but hope for the best and yell for dear life.
It all conclueded with me on the floor with a big gash on my back and a pretty good sized lump on my mellon. Looking up to see the window still as clear as ever. "It fuckn worked!??" In a Jack Sparow sort of way. The strait arm glanced me tword a movie case, to which i impacted the corner with my back. The corner tore me open and put a golf ball sized knott on the back of my dome.
Were it not for all the support and help of my wife, im sure i dont know what ever i would have done. She is to me as Virgel is to Dante. She was to be my guide in this comedy.