( In the tune of "Donkey") " On the road agiaaaaaaaaaaaaan!! Are we there yet? Are we there yet?") I had'nt even made it to Twin yet (Falls). The last 3 days, seemed like "The Master Cheif" was puting my resolve and determination to the test. Every time i was able to negotiate an obstical, sometimes i was able to enjoy,the light on the otherside, it would be short lived with an even gnarlyer obstical (tree) right behind it. That was a perspective. The reality was. I WAS SICK. Whith what it really did'nt matter. OBVIOUSLY i needed some serious Medical intervention. Ahh, but There in lye's the problem. I was pretty sure what ever was wrong with me, was going to require more than the usual 48 hour mirical cure." Neuroligist?!" For all i knew that ment "open brain surgery! (I watch House!) Then i thought about them (Doctors) zapin parts of my brain while i was awake. "I'll bet they could makie me do some funny as hell shit!" Heh! "Like make ya scratch yer nuts right in front of them. Doctor: see, this is the part of the brain that makes you aware you have a parasite. Hmm lets see mmmm yaaa...see how your scratchn your testicals there? Im tellin your brain that you have crabs. And some funny shit." Humor is how i deal with an awray of emotion's. I used to get myself smacked by my parents when i would totaly crack up when my little sisters took serious tumbles or do some stupid shit.. I can remember as far back as 5 seing my 2 year old sister tumble down the stairs. "Thats how Humpy Dumpty looked i'll bet!!" And begin to gigel. That was just automatic. Then i would react like a big brother supposed to. Since then my since of humor, or i have been called " incensitive, morbid, disrespectful, evil, asshole, killer, awsome" to list a few. I prefer the term "Dry". The situation at hand, was winter was almost here. I figured around 7 grand would sustain my family and business by the time the snow flew, bottom line. I only had 4. Then there was the whole should i be hospitalized for to long i would not be able to afford to insure my family. The list went on and on. If i could just make it happen till the flakes came down, i would have steaks in the freezer and all winter to mess with the Doctor. While working in Boise this time, a thought that really had me by the short hairs ever since i realized. I am totaly 100% a red flag, a situation that screamed look out! It was one thing for me to risk my dumb ass. But to knowingly put those working with me at risk?!! I was breaking my own rules. Me, Mr Safety Chairman, Mr safty, safty safty!! I learnd with the carrier choises i had made that my jobs #1 priority: To make it home safely at night. Did it not, then that ment i fucked up BAD. Me being the HNIC on my jobs, was now knowingly putting everyone at risk. And that is called gross negligents. I could,nt live with killin anyone while i was at the helm. But i also would not live with My family in a shelter of anykind. We had come up the hard way and lived in some real shitholes. Damn near orphans at times Never agian. "Savvey!!!" My mind had begun a behavior a little while back of doing a "Systems check" Sortta like "Norton" does for virus. Seemed like i would run "Norton" as soon as i awoke every morning and then in like 20 second intervols, there would be a couple of new viruses found. A new one found, was when i woke up to it feeling like i was sleeping in sand. I showered the night before. You can understand my alarm. That was sleepn in BVD's, what really sucked was when i put on some clean Arborwears. As if there wernt gona to be anythig new!, it felt like i jumped into some drawers loaded with saw dust. That makes for a lousy ride. Another thing that really sucks is being totaly unable to feel the gas or brake pedals with the bottom of my foot any longer. What tells me that i even have my foot on eather is the feedback my knee sometimes all the way bak to the hip hip picks up. At times my foot fails to make the transistion from gas to brake and visa versa that results in some close calls and some choice words. Well, there was choice words the whole way back. Everything about that drive was misery. I simply could not get home fast enough. The Trackter i was towing saw to that in more than the obvious way. Somewhere just pst Tremonten a Simi trailer about drove up my ass all "Rusty Nail" like. "Candy Caine!?" i said as i saw his signal to pull over. Reluctantly i did so, when we stoped i watched as the driver jumped down from the cab.
After driving to the next exit and turing around. I needed back to the other side of Tremonten. One of the loading ramps had fallen of the back of the trailer and hit a car "She was probibly doin about 70 75?" thats what the Simi guy told me. I finaly found the gas station she was at. The ramp, i dont know how it did'nt kill her. The whole right side of the car was distroyed and her windshild sufferd the same. Her plates sayed British Columbia and apperently they enjoy traveling in spandex short shorts and tanktops up there. Yeah! This delayed mte another 3 hours, visualy pleasantly. What really was getting to me was. A 80lb hunk of steel came off my rig and i with my ninja trained prowes did not see this happen i did'nt feelanything eather. Then there was the fact that a car (with a super hotie) came racen up on me and about got killed at the sametime! And i did not pick up on 1 scrap of it. Another situation that screamed Look out!
While in Boise, Elliot a friend of mine called "Hey little heebs, a good friend of mine has a big ol tree hangin like over his house. It's like ready to fall on his place any day now. You need to call this guy. The propertys at the top of Lambs canyon." The property was a family property so the job would pay well. It was it the woods so it would undboutably be a cut and leave. "Lambs? I'll bet it's a sub alpine fur. Thats really all there is besides aspen. The mans not gonna call for an aspen. It was another leed to go after. Alex from Tree Love called and he had a big ol Ash tree that needed surger m,...............................................................................................................................,y he could use both Duane and i on. There was still nuts to be gathered before the big sno w
.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
I've #4
You would have thought i was on a redeye flight, there was only a handfull of folks were joining me today.. "god this is great." There was noone seated in a very co0mfortable perimeter. If i should suffer another undetechtable sizemic event, somehow this large space between them and i, i thought of as a contingency line. Heh! Who knows better? I suppose it was a way of putting my mind at ease. To let some of the extra clinched butt cheek energy to let its guard down. And that is a ton of energy. Everyone has been through ths "shard" senario. "But to not feel anything, to just have turds fall unanounced." That coupled with my toe's, feet,legs,nuts, unit! "Now rectal issue,s! Fuck!! The small little burning pain, the one that showed up for the banyo party! It never went away, to my dismay it incresed and man,did it burn. It kinda felt like a red hot shard of steel had been shoved up my yin-yang..To be honest, that particular pain was way more familiar, more familiar than i even wanted to remember. Much less share with anyone. Another odd phenominon In the life of Chris Reid. When i was around 27, i began to get these rectal pains. They would last 2-3 weeks and they HURT LIKE HELL. At first all i could think was "Dude, do you have fuck hemroids!? No way! No way man!" I knew it was somethig more when i began to eat Advil like gummy bears for days! then weeks,and finely months before i could get the pain to stay away. And yes i did my share of ripping of Hemroid CREAM, OINTMENTS, Heh!! I even ripped off some of my mom's hidden stash of suppository's. Talk about some embarasing shit! And none of it did anything except make me feel like i had been camping with a gay guy. So from 27 on, i would get these serious pains. accompanyed by some serious fatigue, about every year and half ta two years. The pain was sometimes crippeling. I remember thinking to myself one day "So this is how death begins". The shower no the tub is really all i wanted to think about. Although i was wondering how Duane and the job at the"Lovie" property was comming along. Then i thought about JD and his job in Sugarhouse. All i can do is see what tomarrow brings.
When i finely made it home, i did find my tub and it seemd to make me feel worse. Super weak and light headed. Had some chow and went to "awake"
"Boise want's you back. They sold another big one after you left yesterday. They called last night" "Holy shit!" poped into my head all sorts of loud, i had to spit it out to sound like the plesantly supprised holyshit, not the dreadful almost pissed holyshit that wanted to roll out. This was part of my dream. "I sure hope Tony aint thinking im flying outa here tomarrow." "No, Toby wants you to drive up there on monday. Boise's giving us the Kabota, we need you to haul it back with ya. Fuckn Dave! He's probibly the best Sup they've ever had in Salt Lake. He's got this uncanney ability to answer a question super fast in almost insulting fashion, were it not for his super mellow demenor and ability to finish with a warm grin. Youd never have known he told you to blow yourself. "Toby? Now thats a first." I was accustomed to having travel request's roll through the corporite and branch Mgr channels. "Wow Dave, if travel can go through the Supervisors now and you can procure tickets yourself....Fuck this Boise shit! let's go to amsterdam!" "Well, with me being married and all, i dont think i can do that right now." "Pilgram" Followed by my little chuckel. Dave also had the John Wane thing going with his speech that i just loved and i could not resist busten his balls about! Like, in my mind i herd Dave say "Well-ahh! I recon were a gonna send ya ta Boi-se PIL-GRAM! Oh-ya yer taken the truck! now get otta-here!" "Does Tony know?" "Well i guess" Wow. Tony had been the original branch Mgr in Salt Lake and had recently been promoted to Corporite Mantenance supervisor. Historicly Tony had to be in on everything, or he just wasnt happy. Being promoted to corporite i imagined would include a higher degree of micro management atleast for awhile. And not being in the loop of my port to port status...feathers would probibly be ruffeled. Not my problem. "K, so monday im otta here agian. So what do we got goin on for the rest of the week?"
I had managed to procure thursday and friday formy business. As much as i my body was lobbying for a"a reduction in forces" My mind wasnt having it. No, the Wasatch Urban "colors needed to fly". And the job we were doin was for a gentelman who lived approx 2 blocks from Alex, another brother, the "cassa-nova" California kid from "San-Louis-Obisbo duuuuuude!!" Al and i had been friends ever since we worked together at Solitude then "Ski" resort. Al was also a very seasoned Fire Fighter. At one point in his carrier he was a crew member on the legendary Los Padres Hotshots. Did some search and rescue on a ship (Helicopter) in Yosimite and amongst a slew of orther things, a really well rounded Arborist. Who i have not included on this job due to cut backs. (At one point i was going to ask for my chunk of the bail out money) So presently im on his "pissin grounds" and hoping like hell he does'nt bust me. And, as fate would always, have it. As Duane was getting in position to back me up "Son of a bitch!!" He was out on his morning rollerblade, in some super wild shorts. "AL !! " I had a little splaining to-do. Agian the work we were doing for NamVet Dave (the gunny) , was'nt "major" but it all required climbing. Truth be known, i had the agility of a tree sloth, just slow slow slow slow. While doing some surgery in the globe willow, in the backyard i almost blew out my right knee NFL style. My lower right leg got caught in the crotch of two large limbs in the upright angle, at the same time the other muscles i was using just...quit. My body was hanging at the end of a rope on it's own angle. I do use a flip line, but in canopy trees i use it loosely, to alow more movement. So when my muscles quit, my body wanted to swing back to 0. The knee's a hinge joint and my lower leg's the "door". My door about came unhinged!! Once agian i had luck on my side, I was able to somewhat catch myself with my upper extremity's. Still i fel what started out as pressure. Then i saw my leg begin to bend lateraly. I felt and herd a pop. Then the dull pressure quickley turned to tearing/ripping in the whole joint. "Oww!! Fuck!!""Shit Chris are you ok!?" Came from the ground. "Yeah"Be aware of falling turds Duane!! Bounced around in my head a little.. It hurt, BAD! I just faught through it as best as i could. When i finley hit the earth, if you did'nt recognize my distresed walk at the beginning of the day, you sure could'nt mistake it now. . Now along with every thing that has happend in the last 48 hours "I can add blown out knee to the list!" I hobbeled around for the rest of theday in total misery. When the dusk came upon us and Duane and i, er, Duane! was down to the nitty gritty on clean up. The Gunny and his wife came out to the picknik table with a FULL bottle of crown and 4 FULL glasses. Ohhh maaan! I hate the after taste of that Canook shit. "Ok, one or two" The fames lastwords. Two...BOTTLEs! a pack of boro's, getting paid a tour through the Viet Nam musium watching The Gunny get defiant with his squeeze and accusing Duane and i of secretly being "Charlee" It was time to get the fuck otta there before we had a real life "Privite Pile" situation on our hands. Daves wife concured "Yeah guys you should probibly go now, he gets like this" "MaMa did'nt raise no fool!! gotta tell me twice shiiiiiiiit!!" After staggering to the "Hurse" with an illegal as hell trailer, no plates, no registration, no working trailer lights, wasted! And as usual somehow made it home.
The remainder of the weekend was a series of little jobs and instructions to Duane. " If you want hours thereis always Lovie's! "Looviee! Would you pleazze touchh my ballzz!" Laughter.
I was to leave for Boise Sunday afternoon. For any one driving to Boise through south eastern Idaho.. It sucks. Its not like I-80 through Nevada or anything. It just sucks. This drive included a serious amout of tobacco and thoughts, emotions, feeling of no self worth, pain ultimately FEAR. All of which i compartmentalized. Keeping the moral positive. Or as possitive as i could. Or atleast thats what i had been told "Reid, thats why people enjoy working with you so much and your jobs move so quickly and efftishenty. You dont yell and screem at your helpers. Even when things are goin to shit! Your crack'n jokes." Damn right,! Leed by example. That's not to say i did'nt have a "Mr Grumpy Gill's" to me. Everyone also knew that there was a Grizzly that lived inside but was rarely ever seen. Atleast at work. Personal life was a whole different story. Buy the time i made it to Boise i had been throughaly overcome with pent up greif and emotion to the point of tears many times over. I always bring tunes with me to smoke my Boros to. I have the tryed and tested absolute fave's at all times. One of those is the live album "Light fuse get away" disc or set #1 For those not familer, it's a Panic album that has Miky! workin his magic up and down the fret board. Anywhore, this album was a super comfort to me, in times of angst. When i finely pulled down that Eagle/McCall exit i was ready for a beer. Stoped at the Chevron for a sixer of kookanee. I drank 1/2 of a beer and could feel pain. So this time i stoped. This time.
The ride to work and the drive to the job was a little nerve racking as there were no results in the banyo this morning. And so began my new affection for the banyo! When i got to the yard, banyo! first thing. Nothing. 10 minutes later. Nothing! "fuck" The drive to the job included 1 stop at the gas station.For the banyo! Nothing! I was driving myself nutty! When we arived at the property. I was totaly having a hell of a time staying focused on our objective, which today were some fair sized American Elm trees on a property line. They were to the point of some serious overhang on the home owners home and some serious top heavy lean on the neibors garage and ornamental garden. I was here to go treage the seriousness of the over hanging leeds and mitigate accordingly and of course any deadwood i could see. "Looks like about threes days of work." I was conversing with Jarod Boise's climber "Really. It was bid for five." "No shit!?" It was about 2 grand on the over side. "Well, i guess that about covers expectations." Agian i was'nt under the gun. Thank god! When i finely got up in the crown, got myself rigged in and was ready to chase down my first leed. The issue was a little worse than any of us could see from the ground. There were fair sized limbs in all of them, that had broken,due to weight stress. Unlike theyre Siberian cousins, these trees had began to heal themselvs. You could see where all the stress fractures had began to cavrenize and calus over. No pests to speek of, except yer typicl sap sucker "tatoos." Except for the fractures, all sign's were pointing to some pretty healthy trees. I, on the otherhand was not. The first day, suprisingly, was'nt to bad. Day 2 not so good. I gained yet a new symptom. Today it felt like i had to take a leek, like every hour or so. So i would stop everything,swing back into the trunk of the tree, undo my harness, unzip my fly and whip er out. All that for a damn dribble! all day long. We were all loaded up ready to take it to the yard, when Toby asks us 2 do some emergency work. This was not a welcome invatation in my book. My attitude was slowly changing. Day 3, complete and utter exaustion. This banyo dance i was doing was driving me to the point of needing a paded room. At lunch time i was explaining to Jarod SOME of what i was going through and he suggested seeing a Neurologist. "I recon i should." But not yet.
When i finely made it home, i did find my tub and it seemd to make me feel worse. Super weak and light headed. Had some chow and went to "awake"
"Boise want's you back. They sold another big one after you left yesterday. They called last night" "Holy shit!" poped into my head all sorts of loud, i had to spit it out to sound like the plesantly supprised holyshit, not the dreadful almost pissed holyshit that wanted to roll out. This was part of my dream. "I sure hope Tony aint thinking im flying outa here tomarrow." "No, Toby wants you to drive up there on monday. Boise's giving us the Kabota, we need you to haul it back with ya. Fuckn Dave! He's probibly the best Sup they've ever had in Salt Lake. He's got this uncanney ability to answer a question super fast in almost insulting fashion, were it not for his super mellow demenor and ability to finish with a warm grin. Youd never have known he told you to blow yourself. "Toby? Now thats a first." I was accustomed to having travel request's roll through the corporite and branch Mgr channels. "Wow Dave, if travel can go through the Supervisors now and you can procure tickets yourself....Fuck this Boise shit! let's go to amsterdam!" "Well, with me being married and all, i dont think i can do that right now." "Pilgram" Followed by my little chuckel. Dave also had the John Wane thing going with his speech that i just loved and i could not resist busten his balls about! Like, in my mind i herd Dave say "Well-ahh! I recon were a gonna send ya ta Boi-se PIL-GRAM! Oh-ya yer taken the truck! now get otta-here!" "Does Tony know?" "Well i guess" Wow. Tony had been the original branch Mgr in Salt Lake and had recently been promoted to Corporite Mantenance supervisor. Historicly Tony had to be in on everything, or he just wasnt happy. Being promoted to corporite i imagined would include a higher degree of micro management atleast for awhile. And not being in the loop of my port to port status...feathers would probibly be ruffeled. Not my problem. "K, so monday im otta here agian. So what do we got goin on for the rest of the week?"
I had managed to procure thursday and friday formy business. As much as i my body was lobbying for a"a reduction in forces" My mind wasnt having it. No, the Wasatch Urban "colors needed to fly". And the job we were doin was for a gentelman who lived approx 2 blocks from Alex, another brother, the "cassa-nova" California kid from "San-Louis-Obisbo duuuuuude!!" Al and i had been friends ever since we worked together at Solitude then "Ski" resort. Al was also a very seasoned Fire Fighter. At one point in his carrier he was a crew member on the legendary Los Padres Hotshots. Did some search and rescue on a ship (Helicopter) in Yosimite and amongst a slew of orther things, a really well rounded Arborist. Who i have not included on this job due to cut backs. (At one point i was going to ask for my chunk of the bail out money) So presently im on his "pissin grounds" and hoping like hell he does'nt bust me. And, as fate would always, have it. As Duane was getting in position to back me up "Son of a bitch!!" He was out on his morning rollerblade, in some super wild shorts. "AL !! " I had a little splaining to-do. Agian the work we were doing for NamVet Dave (the gunny) , was'nt "major" but it all required climbing. Truth be known, i had the agility of a tree sloth, just slow slow slow slow. While doing some surgery in the globe willow, in the backyard i almost blew out my right knee NFL style. My lower right leg got caught in the crotch of two large limbs in the upright angle, at the same time the other muscles i was using just...quit. My body was hanging at the end of a rope on it's own angle. I do use a flip line, but in canopy trees i use it loosely, to alow more movement. So when my muscles quit, my body wanted to swing back to 0. The knee's a hinge joint and my lower leg's the "door". My door about came unhinged!! Once agian i had luck on my side, I was able to somewhat catch myself with my upper extremity's. Still i fel what started out as pressure. Then i saw my leg begin to bend lateraly. I felt and herd a pop. Then the dull pressure quickley turned to tearing/ripping in the whole joint. "Oww!! Fuck!!""Shit Chris are you ok!?" Came from the ground. "Yeah"Be aware of falling turds Duane!! Bounced around in my head a little.. It hurt, BAD! I just faught through it as best as i could. When i finley hit the earth, if you did'nt recognize my distresed walk at the beginning of the day, you sure could'nt mistake it now. . Now along with every thing that has happend in the last 48 hours "I can add blown out knee to the list!" I hobbeled around for the rest of theday in total misery. When the dusk came upon us and Duane and i, er, Duane! was down to the nitty gritty on clean up. The Gunny and his wife came out to the picknik table with a FULL bottle of crown and 4 FULL glasses. Ohhh maaan! I hate the after taste of that Canook shit. "Ok, one or two" The fames lastwords. Two...BOTTLEs! a pack of boro's, getting paid a tour through the Viet Nam musium watching The Gunny get defiant with his squeeze and accusing Duane and i of secretly being "Charlee" It was time to get the fuck otta there before we had a real life "Privite Pile" situation on our hands. Daves wife concured "Yeah guys you should probibly go now, he gets like this" "MaMa did'nt raise no fool!! gotta tell me twice shiiiiiiiit!!" After staggering to the "Hurse" with an illegal as hell trailer, no plates, no registration, no working trailer lights, wasted! And as usual somehow made it home.
The remainder of the weekend was a series of little jobs and instructions to Duane. " If you want hours thereis always Lovie's! "Looviee! Would you pleazze touchh my ballzz!" Laughter.
I was to leave for Boise Sunday afternoon. For any one driving to Boise through south eastern Idaho.. It sucks. Its not like I-80 through Nevada or anything. It just sucks. This drive included a serious amout of tobacco and thoughts, emotions, feeling of no self worth, pain ultimately FEAR. All of which i compartmentalized. Keeping the moral positive. Or as possitive as i could. Or atleast thats what i had been told "Reid, thats why people enjoy working with you so much and your jobs move so quickly and efftishenty. You dont yell and screem at your helpers. Even when things are goin to shit! Your crack'n jokes." Damn right,! Leed by example. That's not to say i did'nt have a "Mr Grumpy Gill's" to me. Everyone also knew that there was a Grizzly that lived inside but was rarely ever seen. Atleast at work. Personal life was a whole different story. Buy the time i made it to Boise i had been throughaly overcome with pent up greif and emotion to the point of tears many times over. I always bring tunes with me to smoke my Boros to. I have the tryed and tested absolute fave's at all times. One of those is the live album "Light fuse get away" disc or set #1 For those not familer, it's a Panic album that has Miky! workin his magic up and down the fret board. Anywhore, this album was a super comfort to me, in times of angst. When i finely pulled down that Eagle/McCall exit i was ready for a beer. Stoped at the Chevron for a sixer of kookanee. I drank 1/2 of a beer and could feel pain. So this time i stoped. This time.
The ride to work and the drive to the job was a little nerve racking as there were no results in the banyo this morning. And so began my new affection for the banyo! When i got to the yard, banyo! first thing. Nothing. 10 minutes later. Nothing! "fuck" The drive to the job included 1 stop at the gas station.For the banyo! Nothing! I was driving myself nutty! When we arived at the property. I was totaly having a hell of a time staying focused on our objective, which today were some fair sized American Elm trees on a property line. They were to the point of some serious overhang on the home owners home and some serious top heavy lean on the neibors garage and ornamental garden. I was here to go treage the seriousness of the over hanging leeds and mitigate accordingly and of course any deadwood i could see. "Looks like about threes days of work." I was conversing with Jarod Boise's climber "Really. It was bid for five." "No shit!?" It was about 2 grand on the over side. "Well, i guess that about covers expectations." Agian i was'nt under the gun. Thank god! When i finely got up in the crown, got myself rigged in and was ready to chase down my first leed. The issue was a little worse than any of us could see from the ground. There were fair sized limbs in all of them, that had broken,due to weight stress. Unlike theyre Siberian cousins, these trees had began to heal themselvs. You could see where all the stress fractures had began to cavrenize and calus over. No pests to speek of, except yer typicl sap sucker "tatoos." Except for the fractures, all sign's were pointing to some pretty healthy trees. I, on the otherhand was not. The first day, suprisingly, was'nt to bad. Day 2 not so good. I gained yet a new symptom. Today it felt like i had to take a leek, like every hour or so. So i would stop everything,swing back into the trunk of the tree, undo my harness, unzip my fly and whip er out. All that for a damn dribble! all day long. We were all loaded up ready to take it to the yard, when Toby asks us 2 do some emergency work. This was not a welcome invatation in my book. My attitude was slowly changing. Day 3, complete and utter exaustion. This banyo dance i was doing was driving me to the point of needing a paded room. At lunch time i was explaining to Jarod SOME of what i was going through and he suggested seeing a Neurologist. "I recon i should." But not yet.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I've #3
Really, as of two or three weeks ago, alarms and buzzers were just not needed. Wake up calls were no different. At this point it would take obseen amounts of booze and now I had began to prescribe pain killers to my self in my own "Dr House" fashon. But I just did'nt drink near enough, nor did I have any pills. So on and off, on and off the tv went, I floped around like a fish out a water all night long. So when i got my wake upcall, it's effect did nothing but elevate my blood pressure even more than it's current state. Getting ready for the day was begining to take longer. Getting dressed took a little more time, particularly getting my pants on. "Times like theseeeeeeeeeeeee, i wish i were the tin man!" My knees felt as though they were slowly ceasing up due to ...rust? "Wish i had one of those nifty little oil cans like Dorthy used in the Wizarard of oz. "God , i wish it was that simple". I fought my pants on and put on some coffee. While that was running i watched a little news and put on my LaSpoteva's and socks. Getting the socks on was kinda strange but it was the tieing up my boots that was a little more difficult. My fingers were starting to feel as my feet did when all this shit began to violate me. This was to be forgoten as i finished up my last boot and poured myself some of that floor dust called coffee..I've had worse. I draw the line at sanka, i cant beleve people keep that company in business. Drinking the night before all but insured my demise for the day. I made my way to the lobby and was about to walk out the door. When suddenly the "urge" along with a new strange yet familar little burning pain came upon me. So back up to my room it was. I got to the banyo, droped trou and on the thown I sat. For awhile, no results, o but then i began to pee. The urge just disapered, waited a bit longer, did the usual clen up and check. The business end of me was ready to depart the throne. Stood up went for my drawers and thats when it began. Fecal matter just began to fall out of me. Total shock and disbeleaf over took me all at once. My instinct's told my body to "Sit the fuck down!!!" and my body was atempting to comply. My eyes on the other hand were sending a whole differnt message. The visual my eyes had was fecal matter on the toilet seat and floor. To late! We were commited to the sit comand, there was a slight change in trajectory. But im not sure it was for any "gain" as the net result was me sitting and feet deep in shit. "What the fuck!!" as if to let the whole world know that i had just sat in shit. So i sat there, trying to pice together How in the word had that just happend, and waiting for another eruption to NO avail. So i gave the proverbeal push. Nothing, so i pushed like Elvis. Nothing. It was time to do the clen up. So i went for some paper and as soon as i began clen up on my underside, the eruption began agian. Nastyness was on my fingers now! A new wave of shock and fear exploded inside of me. My eyes began to well up. There i sat on the throne, feet,ass, fingers covered in and sitting in shit! I began to just cry. After a couple of minutes of pitty time i striped down and jumped in the shower. "What a fucking mess!" amongst all kinds of other colorfull things. After the shower and some new cloths 2 or 3 towels and all the toilet paper the bathroom had, things were cleaned up enough for me to go. I was 45 min late. Like my bro Levi said "Chris, you anit late till ya get there. Now smoke this!"
And i did, like a chiped Cummins, with no reguard for the environment. Somehow i managed to light up a second before i pulled into the yard. I kept stairing at the fingers that no0t less than 10 minutes ago were caked in feces!, and were now holding the Marlboro that was being put into my mouth. "Well.....i hope i got the shit out from underneth my fingernails!" Speeking aloud. A thought that would remain with me the rest of the day in everything i did and everything i touched touched anything. I would just chuckel to myself (I sure as hell could'nt cry) Just to repaet myself, the smoke was taking life from me with every puff. I could feel it> Especialy in (wanna guess) feet and legs. It was how i coped with stress, driving, waiting, chilling, partying basicly living. But the stress, the stress and booze were the champs at enabling the Marlboro spirits to work there "medicine." Tom the Branch manager was just getting to the yard when i did."I'm running behind this morning too." Oh!, did you shit all over your bathroom too Tom?!!! I was so tempted to blurt it out, due to the strait jacket frame of mind i was in "Hey Tom. I forgot to have my room rung this morning! sorry bout that." The lie. "Hey......it happens. The main thing is, were here. Right?" Dude, you did,nt get pooh on your fingers! He had that forgiving grin. Awsome, i was being seen coming into work late and laughing it up with the branch manager. All i was really concerned with now, was having shit, just fall outa me.
The job we were to do today was another suburb job. The really neat thing about Boise is, the early settlers realy put some thought into the hard woods they planted. There are just some awsome and well maintained White and Red `Oaks And Amerecan Elm trees (name a very few) The work was much more substantial. Damn Siberein Elm tree had been alowed to grow! as usual, huge in a small backyard, and all ape shit over three different homes. If people would just understand, that these trees are not native and that they are a true NIGHTMARE to a home owner. Kinda like morning glory, the roots gnarly structure is a mirror of the top side, only three times as big that have a tenancy to, throw suckers or starter shoots up anywhere and everywhere. Bust up your fences, sidewalks your homes foundation. Jack up your water, sewer and gas lines. Above the surface, they grow fast and get big. Then after they have been alowed to grow bigger than Jesus, they begin to "shed" large amounts of weight byway of simple failer and bust. Sometimes these broken limbs dont fall right away and get hung up. When this happens we call this a "widow maker" and one tree can have many of them in em. Alot of the time the widow maker cant be seen until the tree has lost its leafs. Then there is the reproductive side. These trees spread so much seed! It's sick! Any way, people could save some serious coin if they would just do some mitigation in the early stages i.e... pull your friggin weeds!!! But imf just sayin. These trees make me and others just like me butt loads of cash. So yeah this was a project tree. I really enjoy the heavy rigging and forthought that comes along with these type's of large scale puzzel trees. This tree took all day. It wasnt all unusualy tough but it wasnt really the heavy rigging of giant "leeds" over the structures that hurt all that much. It was chasein down the 6 or 7 widow makers that were up there. We were solucky Toby was able to help out for awhile. He also hooked us up with some lunch. He had to split but not to worry, Tom, was en route. When he arrived apparantly i needed his advice...which made absolutely no sence. "Ya Tom i thought about that. It just wont work. But this will, wanna move?" "Ya but.." Too late i cut it, he had to move now. After that he left me alone. Did very little to help and just did that important guy fold my arms and watch. I really havea distaste for these kinds of.....people. Should just stay in the office. Dont come this way Tom, doo-doo might just fall on you. After about an hour Tom jut split. Polo shirt, dockers and all. It was when we were doing clean up that i found out that we charged those people 4 grand for the work we did."Your not serious!?" I could not beleve shit did'nt fall out of me The day winding down included a ride to the Boise Airport. Once agian those TSA guys, after that I could be found at (where else) the bar! Where a stella costs 9 bucks and a shoot will only cost 4 bucks if ordered with a beer. There is just no way for me to unwind!
And i did, like a chiped Cummins, with no reguard for the environment. Somehow i managed to light up a second before i pulled into the yard. I kept stairing at the fingers that no0t less than 10 minutes ago were caked in feces!, and were now holding the Marlboro that was being put into my mouth. "Well.....i hope i got the shit out from underneth my fingernails!" Speeking aloud. A thought that would remain with me the rest of the day in everything i did and everything i touched touched anything. I would just chuckel to myself (I sure as hell could'nt cry) Just to repaet myself, the smoke was taking life from me with every puff. I could feel it> Especialy in (wanna guess) feet and legs. It was how i coped with stress, driving, waiting, chilling, partying basicly living. But the stress, the stress and booze were the champs at enabling the Marlboro spirits to work there "medicine." Tom the Branch manager was just getting to the yard when i did."I'm running behind this morning too." Oh!, did you shit all over your bathroom too Tom?!!! I was so tempted to blurt it out, due to the strait jacket frame of mind i was in "Hey Tom. I forgot to have my room rung this morning! sorry bout that." The lie. "Hey......it happens. The main thing is, were here. Right?" Dude, you did,nt get pooh on your fingers! He had that forgiving grin. Awsome, i was being seen coming into work late and laughing it up with the branch manager. All i was really concerned with now, was having shit, just fall outa me.
The job we were to do today was another suburb job. The really neat thing about Boise is, the early settlers realy put some thought into the hard woods they planted. There are just some awsome and well maintained White and Red `Oaks And Amerecan Elm trees (name a very few) The work was much more substantial. Damn Siberein Elm tree had been alowed to grow! as usual, huge in a small backyard, and all ape shit over three different homes. If people would just understand, that these trees are not native and that they are a true NIGHTMARE to a home owner. Kinda like morning glory, the roots gnarly structure is a mirror of the top side, only three times as big that have a tenancy to, throw suckers or starter shoots up anywhere and everywhere. Bust up your fences, sidewalks your homes foundation. Jack up your water, sewer and gas lines. Above the surface, they grow fast and get big. Then after they have been alowed to grow bigger than Jesus, they begin to "shed" large amounts of weight byway of simple failer and bust. Sometimes these broken limbs dont fall right away and get hung up. When this happens we call this a "widow maker" and one tree can have many of them in em. Alot of the time the widow maker cant be seen until the tree has lost its leafs. Then there is the reproductive side. These trees spread so much seed! It's sick! Any way, people could save some serious coin if they would just do some mitigation in the early stages i.e... pull your friggin weeds!!! But imf just sayin. These trees make me and others just like me butt loads of cash. So yeah this was a project tree. I really enjoy the heavy rigging and forthought that comes along with these type's of large scale puzzel trees. This tree took all day. It wasnt all unusualy tough but it wasnt really the heavy rigging of giant "leeds" over the structures that hurt all that much. It was chasein down the 6 or 7 widow makers that were up there. We were solucky Toby was able to help out for awhile. He also hooked us up with some lunch. He had to split but not to worry, Tom, was en route. When he arrived apparantly i needed his advice...which made absolutely no sence. "Ya Tom i thought about that. It just wont work. But this will, wanna move?" "Ya but.." Too late i cut it, he had to move now. After that he left me alone. Did very little to help and just did that important guy fold my arms and watch. I really havea distaste for these kinds of.....people. Should just stay in the office. Dont come this way Tom, doo-doo might just fall on you. After about an hour Tom jut split. Polo shirt, dockers and all. It was when we were doing clean up that i found out that we charged those people 4 grand for the work we did."Your not serious!?" I could not beleve shit did'nt fall out of me The day winding down included a ride to the Boise Airport. Once agian those TSA guys, after that I could be found at (where else) the bar! Where a stella costs 9 bucks and a shoot will only cost 4 bucks if ordered with a beer. There is just no way for me to unwind!
Friday, January 6, 2012
I've #2
"What huh?" All squinted eyed, the plane was empty, except for cleaning crew. It wasn't like me to black out by 10:00. But I was In the "Business/Pleassure" mode and it WAS Sunday which ment FootBall which menf my Saints and Brees, you know the tune. So it was Knob Creek and Coorse light all afternoon till Jetcity time. I cant recall check-in at all. I usually get the Business fro0m those TSA guys. I suppose If I were them ID have a hard-on for me too,seeing how I look like Tala-Ban. Comeing down the ramp I was spying for a dude, wearing a bunch of $#@$%# shit. And there he was, a bit softer in apperence than I had imagend. Kind of a Clive Owen, Edward Burnsy with a Beetle Baley kind of akwardness in his posture, as it was proven true in most everything he did. Not to give the wrong idea. Aside from the sup's in the Salt lake branch, Toby w3as one of the first sup's in the different branches Ihad been to that did'nt use his position to "sit-back and watch. He was right there "elbows and assholes! right there with you. " Hey Toby!" kinda slurd like. "Hey Chris!" He was a pretty cordual dude. On the way to my VIP suite at the Holladay Inn express "Oh no way. How the hell did Boise get a Buffalo Wildwings befor Salt Lake?" I had been waiting ever so impatiently for BWW to get it's ass to Utah. I figured it mut have hed someting to do wiyh our goofy as hell bullshit liquor laws. The first time Ihad been to a BWW was with Kent one of my brother's. It was in Virginia Beach, and you talkabout some grub that'll make your tail wag! "Yeah it just went up a little while ago. Place is always busy. Is it any good?" Not to quick though. "I cant belive y'all aint been there." He got me to the hotel and showed me where my truck was parked, gave me the key "See ya in the morning" I smoked a few Marlboros, went to my "suite" turnd on some comedy central called in my wake upcalland slipt of to la la land.
Of all the states i've been to, idaho is easealy in my top three of favorets. I've spent a great sum of time in some super remote wilderness areas. The Payett, the Boise, the Sawtooth, the Salmon, McCall, Grangeville up into the pan handle. Just an awsome state, peroid. With awsome beers and liquor laws to boot. However this time my "remote widerness areas" were located on a grid of streets all the way from the Historic districts and the "J R Ewing looking lay outs in the farming areas to your typical suburbs. Now, the reason I was brought up here was for some hazard tree removal. The first job was removing two paper bark Birtch trees. They had to be climed,rigged and drug out from the backyard. The trees wernt difficut per say,the fact of the matter was, I was in trouble. They took all damn day and they wore me down for the remaineder of my trip. I was able to charge my cells with that little bit of down time over the weekend. But my bunneys drum was now a mild "Thud". My legs were...were just...Fcked up BAD! Felt like i was luggen a 50 Lb ball with me, not just everywhere, but with every motion i made. When the climbig, rigging and cutting were done, there was still alot of rounds to be hauled, debres to rake pavement and porches to blow off. Seemed like we were never gonna get out a there. Usually It's me being the clean-up over acheever, tool left behind triple checker. But all I could think about doing was finding a grave to burry myself in. Getting off the clock was so on my mind but that just wernt gonna happen, WE STILL HAD TO DUMP. On the way back to the shop "Oh hell ya!" Somehow the sight of that big'ol yellow sign with the winged buffalo put a grin on this kids face. "Buy you guys a beer!?" They both declined. One was doing the steps and the other one was a minor. "Thats cool." Hey man, if you ever feel like falling off the waggon, Wild Wings is a hell of a place to do it at!" I asked the supervisors if I could buy them a beer and they all declined. "Y'all got no sence." No less than ten minutes later I was throwin my ass down on a baar stool. Not my Salt lake usual here man,no, Fat Tire on draft and Knob were the flavors of the evening with a garnish of wings. "Oh hell ya!" As I've mentiond before, every drink I took was totaly taking life from me. I knew this. yet "Ignorence is bliss.." as I trew em back and tonight was monday, so I trew em back to my second team on Monday night Football. Fitzgerald had a pretty good game, and I felt pretty "good". Good enough to stop at the Mavrick on my way home for a 6er Fat Tire. Good enoughto thow back 4 of those, in my "suite". My time in hotel rooms has at times included large amounts of drugs and some huge partys but it hasnt ever included pay per view smut or ordering up some trim from every state iv'e been to. Nope , lately it's been some Stabler and Bensen action or comody cental. Although, I must confess, Im curious when Stabler,s gonna finely make Liv submit,like he wants her to, like he knows she wants to, like a mbgood girl should. Like a good girl better!! and. Whoa, Im so busted.
Of all the states i've been to, idaho is easealy in my top three of favorets. I've spent a great sum of time in some super remote wilderness areas. The Payett, the Boise, the Sawtooth, the Salmon, McCall, Grangeville up into the pan handle. Just an awsome state, peroid. With awsome beers and liquor laws to boot. However this time my "remote widerness areas" were located on a grid of streets all the way from the Historic districts and the "J R Ewing looking lay outs in the farming areas to your typical suburbs. Now, the reason I was brought up here was for some hazard tree removal. The first job was removing two paper bark Birtch trees. They had to be climed,rigged and drug out from the backyard. The trees wernt difficut per say,the fact of the matter was, I was in trouble. They took all damn day and they wore me down for the remaineder of my trip. I was able to charge my cells with that little bit of down time over the weekend. But my bunneys drum was now a mild "Thud". My legs were...were just...Fcked up BAD! Felt like i was luggen a 50 Lb ball with me, not just everywhere, but with every motion i made. When the climbig, rigging and cutting were done, there was still alot of rounds to be hauled, debres to rake pavement and porches to blow off. Seemed like we were never gonna get out a there. Usually It's me being the clean-up over acheever, tool left behind triple checker. But all I could think about doing was finding a grave to burry myself in. Getting off the clock was so on my mind but that just wernt gonna happen, WE STILL HAD TO DUMP. On the way back to the shop "Oh hell ya!" Somehow the sight of that big'ol yellow sign with the winged buffalo put a grin on this kids face. "Buy you guys a beer!?" They both declined. One was doing the steps and the other one was a minor. "Thats cool." Hey man, if you ever feel like falling off the waggon, Wild Wings is a hell of a place to do it at!" I asked the supervisors if I could buy them a beer and they all declined. "Y'all got no sence." No less than ten minutes later I was throwin my ass down on a baar stool. Not my Salt lake usual here man,no, Fat Tire on draft and Knob were the flavors of the evening with a garnish of wings. "Oh hell ya!" As I've mentiond before, every drink I took was totaly taking life from me. I knew this. yet "Ignorence is bliss.." as I trew em back and tonight was monday, so I trew em back to my second team on Monday night Football. Fitzgerald had a pretty good game, and I felt pretty "good". Good enough to stop at the Mavrick on my way home for a 6er Fat Tire. Good enoughto thow back 4 of those, in my "suite". My time in hotel rooms has at times included large amounts of drugs and some huge partys but it hasnt ever included pay per view smut or ordering up some trim from every state iv'e been to. Nope , lately it's been some Stabler and Bensen action or comody cental. Although, I must confess, Im curious when Stabler,s gonna finely make Liv submit,like he wants her to, like he knows she wants to, like a mbgood girl should. Like a good girl better!! and. Whoa, Im so busted.
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