The ride to the Hospital definatly had the auora of October,still a bit of bcolor left non the trees but not much. "We gotta go get some shots after were done here, ok?" "Lets just wait and see if your even gonna be leaving. They might admit you." "Man i seen this episode on House, i swear. Surely they'll just refer me to a Neurologist and send me home? Mmm nit's not like im die'n or anything, at least i dont think so anyway....?" "Just gotta wait and see"
Hence, a second objective was identified. To get in as many Boro's as i could before we got to the ER.
Ofcourse i was wheelchaired in. They did a very thurough, physical exam. This would scar me, as i had reached a milestone, the first time someone put they'r finger up my ass. I have been an EMT, and could not for the dignity of me figure out what he was going to find out by doing this "You gonna kiss me when your done?" A disgusted look and a "It's gotta be done." When he did this, i was instantly reminded of my dog.
Bear was an Akita. This breed has scent glands in they'r ass. From time to time they can plug up and become inflamed. What leeds an owner to suspition is excesive licking in the area. The next step is to drain them, it has to be done manualy. Posesing the mouth of a Wolverine and the temperment to match. I tied his ass up to a chainlink fence to oparate.
Not having a latex glove i McGruberd one with a Trojan. Wanting to make sure Bear kept all possible dognanty and K-mility, i rinced all the spermicide lube and used raw eggwhite. Bear had a gaaze on me luben up like he knew exacly what was going to be attemted. It took me two attempts. Bear became a Kodiak as my finger just baerly made any contact. Three times i had to retie him until finely, he went from Kodiak to whining puppy. "I'm so sorry Bear...i swear your gonna be glad i did this..."
After going though the whole SAMPLE history bit and tests on all the matter extracted from me. The MS discussion began and ended with the admitance into "Mcdunn Dee" Hospital. They then aranged acat scan. That ment my 6 gage had to come out. Luckly the tech had a pipe wrench and vise grips! The next step was an MRI. After that is when i met Dr's Dill and Weeds. Dr Dill was the one who explained "You have Quite a few Black Spots on your brain and spine. They are a signature of the damage done by MS." This is when i recived my MS 101 from Dr Dill who was very vage with his discriptions and took few questions. a lousy Professer for my Intro to MS education. Dr Weeds on the other hand was a bit more informative and provided more discriptive answers. He told my wife "He's got more spots than i have ever personaly seen."
My insurance dictated i have a spinal puncture for indisputable proof thatn only my Cirebrel spinal fluid could provide. At this hospital this required a trip to Radioligy. I remember the epidural's Teri got delivering our kids. After curling up in a ball its followed by somenerve wracking words "K now, DONT MOVE A HAIR. Your gonna feel some pressure." It's a spooky fuckin deal. The actual pain is quite minimal, it's the idea of someone putting a needle in your spinaltcord that really messes with your head that could induce shock for some.
"Stay on your back and keep your movements to a minumum for 2-3 days. Alow that hole to seel itself. Or it'll start leaking and you 'll have one hell of a headache and it wont go away. You'll have to comeback. The only way to stop it's with a Bloodpatch." That same day Dr Weeds was wanting me to preform some test's that required me to stand and try to walk. To whicth i protested with what the Radioligist instructed me to do. He countered with "If its gonna leek it would have already begun."
The fact that i had lost that ability to walk was bittersweet. No risking any leakage (so i thought). But was i really not gonna walk agian? When the results from my puncture came back, a three day course of steroids was begun. Dr Dill informed me "You have Mutipal Sclrosis."
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
You have ;6
I can't recall how my bag swere loaded. But i do remember the look on Teri's face. My eyes glued to, nothing really, just gazeing, i suppose....."I know....I cant fuckn do this shit anymore.....I aint bad enough...No Mas......we going now?" It was at this moment, my spirit was truely broke.
It took me a long long time getting from the terminal to the bagage claim to curb side wheni got there, it looked like the fourlane speedway in da hoood. Really not giving one dam if i got hit, i just stagard out into the crosswalk without a glance, nothing. That really pisses off the cab drivers "Ahh Fuck yooooooou..." to the angry horns.
We decided the next day would be my official day of surrender.
It was about noon when Duane came over. When i answered the door the Greeting i got was "Reid we'
re going to the hospital. I dont care if we gotta hog tie you." "I'm going maaaan." Duanes wing man in the Back country "The Bully" had had some similer issues mainly sight. It was on a trip back from B.C. that his vision was doing some crazy shit. It scared him enough to see the DOC upon there return home. "Get em to a Doctor ASAP." He told Duane, upon his inquiry of symtom comparison. Teri who tended bar at the C.I. had one of her regulars mention that after seeing me walk and listenning to Teri's concern's/fear's, he volenteered that a good friend of his had issues that were "errily similar."
"The Bully" Ended up in the MRI capsul. He recived his results over the phone while on his way to Moab. Jason, Teri's regular. His buddy, also had to turn himself in to the Medical atthority's as well.
Comeing home from the Airport, Teri was a little reluctant to tell me about Jason's concern. As Jason's friend was Diagnosed with the same thing as "The Bully." "I dont want to scare you babe. But we think you might have Multipal Sclrosis
It took me a long long time getting from the terminal to the bagage claim to curb side wheni got there, it looked like the fourlane speedway in da hoood. Really not giving one dam if i got hit, i just stagard out into the crosswalk without a glance, nothing. That really pisses off the cab drivers "Ahh Fuck yooooooou..." to the angry horns.
We decided the next day would be my official day of surrender.
It was about noon when Duane came over. When i answered the door the Greeting i got was "Reid we'
re going to the hospital. I dont care if we gotta hog tie you." "I'm going maaaan." Duanes wing man in the Back country "The Bully" had had some similer issues mainly sight. It was on a trip back from B.C. that his vision was doing some crazy shit. It scared him enough to see the DOC upon there return home. "Get em to a Doctor ASAP." He told Duane, upon his inquiry of symtom comparison. Teri who tended bar at the C.I. had one of her regulars mention that after seeing me walk and listenning to Teri's concern's/fear's, he volenteered that a good friend of his had issues that were "errily similar."
"The Bully" Ended up in the MRI capsul. He recived his results over the phone while on his way to Moab. Jason, Teri's regular. His buddy, also had to turn himself in to the Medical atthority's as well.
Comeing home from the Airport, Teri was a little reluctant to tell me about Jason's concern. As Jason's friend was Diagnosed with the same thing as "The Bully." "I dont want to scare you babe. But we think you might have Multipal Sclrosis
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
You have ;5
There have been times in my life im sure rings true for everyone, at somepoint in time. In the middle of a task, "commited", and all of the sudden your bowels have hijacked the whole opperation. Praying for a banyoto suddenly appear. For some the "Magic" they poses is strong enough that a banyo actualy makes its self tangeable. Other folks have to resort to Mcgrubering themself's one. Some are able to endure untill something suitable comes along. Some however are beyond the scope of any "Magic" and scoff at Mcgruber.
I recall a great many many many many"Near miss" situations ive had. A couple of fist fulls being at work. One i remember. We were down in American Fork, in the middle of a large scale job. The "urge" hit me so hard i droped all my tools, saddle, hooks, saw, everything. Left my help alone working for fourty five minutes, without saying a word, walked, rather quickly to the truck and hauledass for anywhere. Swaring to my self "Dude, if you shit your pants.... It'll be a super spendy dump because i'm driving fuckn homeand never comming back!!" And I MENT EVERY WORD. Somehow i was able to endure and find a banyo. There have been a few times a banyo was not an option, ending up in bushes, sometimes in the customers yard. On one occation, the bushes directly under a huge window attatched to a 'plantation' in Martins Point, a very exclusive neghborhood. Talk about covert op's. As SEAL's are taught to go to the water. TREE'ls go to the bushes, when "the shit goes to shit." Aword to the wise,if i catch you , your fired. Its sorta falls into the smokin dope catagory. If your dumb enough to get caught, your dumb enough to be fired
It took me a long as hell time to apply the "If you cant laugh at your self. Who can you laugh at ?" tag on this experence. As far as i was concerned the only ones need know about this be Grandpa and me. But it was the begining of a long lasting personal nightmare. At first, I did tell a couple of close climbing brothers and was able to Richad Pryor myself though it. Still i was rocked to the core.
Chance had brought me to a Miky D's whose bathroom i had to use McGruber skills in even though amenaty's were there i used them all up. After i figure a long 45 min and Hanesless, i emerged and like a fart in the breeze i vanished.
My return could be chareterized as the drive of shame...very slow, tail down between the legs and chain smoking. Confusion ? Self worth just shot. Some may have just said "Dude your being a pussy." Maybe....but my whole world was comming apart and i could'nt really share in any real depht with a single soul. I was still suffering frorm shock yet somehow grasping a flint and stone and reignighting "The only easy day" mentality, but compartmentalization of all these factors was pushing me twords padded room a nd stratejacket territory.
Getting back< Mike had taken off to dump and Granny and Grampy inside now. Wisely i chaped up. Unwisely i piccked up a a "044!?" i just began "The felling Olympics" sport felling the doomed pines alone. Mike got back and we set up the "yarder"placeing a hobbs block 10 - 15' up a pine accross the driveway at the bottom of the hill. On Ax-Men yarding down hill was deemed a supper dangerous tactic and i concur. Thank god Jason was able to send me 2 more bodys "Riggers" which were assigned to dragg the "carrage line and three chocker cables back up the hill. The carrage/drag line went through the block and was attached to the back of my truck, of which Mike would drive and yard thee trees down the hill. Agian Mike had never done tree work in this manner"Man Chris, this made things so much quicker." "And yer back dont hurt at the end of the day." I sincerly hope Mike has been able to apply this little bit of rigging he learned to other situations.
Around noon Ol boy was back in action wantting to see the loging operation on his turff. Everyone figureing out the order of operations was the biggest problem to overcome add in the fact everybody was green, it was chalanging. When all figured out there place and pace it was beautiful.
A couple of times it was not beautiful, which required me to get down bottom and up top at different time's. Sliding down the hill over sections of tree scoured taullus on my ass, painfull but a time and energy saver. Of course the hike back up was painful and spent everybit of what i had left. The crew had become sensitive to the flailing around i had reduced myself to and were hustleing to keep me it the dirt. "Is this what i've been reduced to? A fold my arms and watch fucken asshole?" Tears began to stream as all i could really do was sit in the dirt and think seriously about going to my cell and hanging myself tonight.
"I aint gonna have the strenth to do it" i was reasoning with myyself kinda like Shmegal and Galom "Besides, one day only left we have!!" "Shmeeeegaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal! Noone will likes us with shitsis in our pantsis!!" "Go away! and never come back!! Go away!! and never come back!!" Yes im a mental person who had gone, mental.
When i got back to my "Lamnant for the Weary" the final walk up the stairs ended in a stumble to my shins and palms and a baby crawl for the last few steps. When got to my room I began to round up my shit (phun intended) and had my bag ready to go. The fact that i had to dig all said shit back out what would be twice. I really did.nt pay any mind to. That final night the sun could;nt show its ass fast enough.
The sun did no such thing before the headlights of J's pick em up truck reflected off my walls. This day would be fairly easy but as always rang true for most all last days. It just would'nt end.
The day consisted of the continuation of my sport felling of the closist trees left for last. Whith Mike swampn and chipin right behind me. We left two trees sytanding next to High voltage trasmision lines, they were climb/mutilate and dont hit any wires. It was a bit sketchy, but i got em done. J came and got me for delivery to some of TSA's finest.
Opening the door to my wifes Odassie, im met with "O MY GOD CHRIS!! Your going to a fucking hospital!!"
I recall a great many many many many"Near miss" situations ive had. A couple of fist fulls being at work. One i remember. We were down in American Fork, in the middle of a large scale job. The "urge" hit me so hard i droped all my tools, saddle, hooks, saw, everything. Left my help alone working for fourty five minutes, without saying a word, walked, rather quickly to the truck and hauledass for anywhere. Swaring to my self "Dude, if you shit your pants.... It'll be a super spendy dump because i'm driving fuckn homeand never comming back!!" And I MENT EVERY WORD. Somehow i was able to endure and find a banyo. There have been a few times a banyo was not an option, ending up in bushes, sometimes in the customers yard. On one occation, the bushes directly under a huge window attatched to a 'plantation' in Martins Point, a very exclusive neghborhood. Talk about covert op's. As SEAL's are taught to go to the water. TREE'ls go to the bushes, when "the shit goes to shit." Aword to the wise,if i catch you , your fired. Its sorta falls into the smokin dope catagory. If your dumb enough to get caught, your dumb enough to be fired
It took me a long as hell time to apply the "If you cant laugh at your self. Who can you laugh at ?" tag on this experence. As far as i was concerned the only ones need know about this be Grandpa and me. But it was the begining of a long lasting personal nightmare. At first, I did tell a couple of close climbing brothers and was able to Richad Pryor myself though it. Still i was rocked to the core.
Chance had brought me to a Miky D's whose bathroom i had to use McGruber skills in even though amenaty's were there i used them all up. After i figure a long 45 min and Hanesless, i emerged and like a fart in the breeze i vanished.
My return could be chareterized as the drive of shame...very slow, tail down between the legs and chain smoking. Confusion ? Self worth just shot. Some may have just said "Dude your being a pussy." Maybe....but my whole world was comming apart and i could'nt really share in any real depht with a single soul. I was still suffering frorm shock yet somehow grasping a flint and stone and reignighting "The only easy day" mentality, but compartmentalization of all these factors was pushing me twords padded room a nd stratejacket territory.
Getting back< Mike had taken off to dump and Granny and Grampy inside now. Wisely i chaped up. Unwisely i piccked up a a "044!?" i just began "The felling Olympics" sport felling the doomed pines alone. Mike got back and we set up the "yarder"placeing a hobbs block 10 - 15' up a pine accross the driveway at the bottom of the hill. On Ax-Men yarding down hill was deemed a supper dangerous tactic and i concur. Thank god Jason was able to send me 2 more bodys "Riggers" which were assigned to dragg the "carrage line and three chocker cables back up the hill. The carrage/drag line went through the block and was attached to the back of my truck, of which Mike would drive and yard thee trees down the hill. Agian Mike had never done tree work in this manner"Man Chris, this made things so much quicker." "And yer back dont hurt at the end of the day." I sincerly hope Mike has been able to apply this little bit of rigging he learned to other situations.
Around noon Ol boy was back in action wantting to see the loging operation on his turff. Everyone figureing out the order of operations was the biggest problem to overcome add in the fact everybody was green, it was chalanging. When all figured out there place and pace it was beautiful.
A couple of times it was not beautiful, which required me to get down bottom and up top at different time's. Sliding down the hill over sections of tree scoured taullus on my ass, painfull but a time and energy saver. Of course the hike back up was painful and spent everybit of what i had left. The crew had become sensitive to the flailing around i had reduced myself to and were hustleing to keep me it the dirt. "Is this what i've been reduced to? A fold my arms and watch fucken asshole?" Tears began to stream as all i could really do was sit in the dirt and think seriously about going to my cell and hanging myself tonight.
"I aint gonna have the strenth to do it" i was reasoning with myyself kinda like Shmegal and Galom "Besides, one day only left we have!!" "Shmeeeegaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal! Noone will likes us with shitsis in our pantsis!!" "Go away! and never come back!! Go away!! and never come back!!" Yes im a mental person who had gone, mental.
When i got back to my "Lamnant for the Weary" the final walk up the stairs ended in a stumble to my shins and palms and a baby crawl for the last few steps. When got to my room I began to round up my shit (phun intended) and had my bag ready to go. The fact that i had to dig all said shit back out what would be twice. I really did.nt pay any mind to. That final night the sun could;nt show its ass fast enough.
The sun did no such thing before the headlights of J's pick em up truck reflected off my walls. This day would be fairly easy but as always rang true for most all last days. It just would'nt end.
The day consisted of the continuation of my sport felling of the closist trees left for last. Whith Mike swampn and chipin right behind me. We left two trees sytanding next to High voltage trasmision lines, they were climb/mutilate and dont hit any wires. It was a bit sketchy, but i got em done. J came and got me for delivery to some of TSA's finest.
Opening the door to my wifes Odassie, im met with "O MY GOD CHRIS!! Your going to a fucking hospital!!"
Friday, May 18, 2012
You have ;4
Another round of stairing at the swirls in the ceiling intwined along with...cureosity? Upon if tomarrow was my Day. How it was gonna go down. Crushed? Impaled? Ripped in two? Hang myself? Decapitate myself. And as always The voice of the real underdog me "Bring it on fuckers!!" It'sno wonder im always into trouble.
That being said. Jason and i got into the "Hanger" early to get the "yaarder set up" from Scott. So first breakfast was quick. Second breakfast, the sun was barely rising and my eyes were doing what i began to refer to as "Rein of Fire" when we were pulling up our customers driveway. He, standing infront of of his garage first breakfast inhand.
"We got this!" over and over quietly putting myself in a "zone" for a tree "I could do with myeyes wide shut." Yet another claim that would be put tothe test, so ta speek. Hauling up gear to the base of the removal Whatever his name was (home owner) and his wife decided to add for another 500 green backs. It stood atop another small incline adjacent to a vinal fence and the garage.
The coffee, Rockstar combo had run it,s course, upon arival i was peeing like a Madd pisser. The last few "leeks" yeilding little to just a few drops but still i fetl as though i had to piss fire. When i got my Dr's bag and all my tools upto the removal i ran(shuffeled) off to release the flames my unit told my brain it had to breeth. One thing thats neerly impossible, climbing with unit distress. Try and try, finaly, a dribble. That was enough for my eye.s to override the unit. Scrambling back, wiggeling into my gear, setting up the wrap and block, explain the need and function and what to do in they'r application. Mike told me hehad never done any blocking with big wood. Seemed like EVERY FUCK-N-TIME!! there was big wood to be rigged, my help was always a Greenhorn to its precision. After the first blockout if you dont have your helps undevided attention. Something's been distroyed and/or someones eather seriously hurt or dead.
There are so many OCD component's to all climbers style. One of many many many i have is the points on my hooks. After doing my whole routeen basacwards they were as sharp as rubber weenee.
Halfway into my acent, in the middle of a pretty good pace, that feeling of spent uranium coolant returned. "Fuck it" its all in yer head man" almost into the top "Fuck dude your gonna piss your drawers!" old man and his wife now on the patio, eyes glued. "Ya mess yer trousers they say! Gal's watch'n and all!" "Fuck it!!! we're committed!!!" Then...i really thought about it. It took all of about a 10th of a second. "You really want ta smell like piss all day!? All sticky and shit!!!?" I could no longer take it. As i swore to myself i was already downloading pee, i threw a runnin bowline around the trunk with Ivy, looped an 8 inline, clicked out my flip line and hit the earth in a single bound. With the quickness of a sloth i was at my chosen trunk, saddle falling around my ankles. Whiped out my unit that was!!.......as dry as could be? Checked my drawers "Dry!?..... O'God, O'God, O'God, Come'On!" Never had i felt like this before. I had herd of storys about warts and differet type of VD. It crossed mymind breiffly before my "pee or flight" took over and i desperately began to"Digg" with my abbs for pee!!?,..CSF!!?...the mucus of my eyes!!?...snott!??..."Fuckn anything!, please..." My voice coming from the bilge of my lungs. Then a squirt. "O'God yes!" Then a weak as hell stream "O'God yes!' And then it stoped. Did'nt matter the visual alone brought on a sense of extacy. This time i was able to get back up the pine with the pee feeling at a minamum. Got the top roped out, and for first time blocking,Mike operated the rigging line like a pro. Following every step explained to the T. I wwas comfortable giveing him bigger and bigger blocks, which got me back to the earth that much quicker.
When i finaly had dirt under the neath of my boots and unlatched my flip line, i did'nt colaps, but began stumbling, to my ass, but used my cooth acting skills to make it appeer done on purpose. Coping a seat in the middle of a bunch of dog shit. Realizing this i still focused on removeing my hooks. Freeing up my feet i sortn of did a bit of break danceing to get to my feet. Standing up the sweet aroma of dog shit shadowing me. "Maaaaan my saddel better not have fuckn dog shit on it!" Striping off my Tree Motion as quickly as possible. Eyeballing the saddle as i pulled my last leg out. "O thank God! i brought it up in front of me for furter inspection "Clean! we can deal with it on our pants, just throw em away at the end of the day." Putting my glove back on to wipe off what i could "Would'nt cha know it" it began to rain like hell. "Come'on Chris!" Mike and the old man were calling out from inside the garage. Went for my Motion and Rainmaned my way to the shelter.
They had a lawnchair opened and set up i did'nt listen for the invetation for. Casualy checkn out the bottoms of my Spotivas for shit. Not wanting to drag dogshit into the spotless garage. "Musta lucked out." and knocked off a semisolid pile. Taking a breath and relaxing, the old man doing the samething in the chair next to mine, gazeing the rain.
It was a very very short gaze. Broken by the "Dog" shit vapors that had now invaded Grandpa's personal space. Clearly, violated. There was no hesitation in the old boy's displeasure as he looked right at me drew in a huge whiff and blew it back out with the force of a farmers snott blow. To which i immeditely reackted with a search for "bin laddin" to no avial. Instantly realizing "O'God no!" my search, as i got up,"No way!!" did'nt include, Rainmaning my way through the "My Fuckn pants!?" Making my way around to the blindside of any truck that could afford me some cover
At first i was just drop trou and let whatever fall asit may. Then was just gonna shove a bare hand down there. Then, my "Navy SEAL, McGruber, Ninja training" smacked the shock right ouda me just in time. Carefully i inscerted my hand down my drawers but not my underdrawers. Contouring the small of my back on to the Hanes down to the orphas area.
A new wave of shock. How do i clean up the small clay like cluster i identifyed upon palpation. Whats more is there more?
Wasnt waitn around to talk to the fuckn media about it eather. In that cab and down the road trying so hard not to sit flaaat,hauln ass, countn turns and keeping vigulent for any stop signs, all the while not feeling from the waist down. Well thats just one hell of a fucking trick.
That being said. Jason and i got into the "Hanger" early to get the "yaarder set up" from Scott. So first breakfast was quick. Second breakfast, the sun was barely rising and my eyes were doing what i began to refer to as "Rein of Fire" when we were pulling up our customers driveway. He, standing infront of of his garage first breakfast inhand.
"We got this!" over and over quietly putting myself in a "zone" for a tree "I could do with myeyes wide shut." Yet another claim that would be put tothe test, so ta speek. Hauling up gear to the base of the removal Whatever his name was (home owner) and his wife decided to add for another 500 green backs. It stood atop another small incline adjacent to a vinal fence and the garage.
The coffee, Rockstar combo had run it,s course, upon arival i was peeing like a Madd pisser. The last few "leeks" yeilding little to just a few drops but still i fetl as though i had to piss fire. When i got my Dr's bag and all my tools upto the removal i ran(shuffeled) off to release the flames my unit told my brain it had to breeth. One thing thats neerly impossible, climbing with unit distress. Try and try, finaly, a dribble. That was enough for my eye.s to override the unit. Scrambling back, wiggeling into my gear, setting up the wrap and block, explain the need and function and what to do in they'r application. Mike told me hehad never done any blocking with big wood. Seemed like EVERY FUCK-N-TIME!! there was big wood to be rigged, my help was always a Greenhorn to its precision. After the first blockout if you dont have your helps undevided attention. Something's been distroyed and/or someones eather seriously hurt or dead.
There are so many OCD component's to all climbers style. One of many many many i have is the points on my hooks. After doing my whole routeen basacwards they were as sharp as rubber weenee.
Halfway into my acent, in the middle of a pretty good pace, that feeling of spent uranium coolant returned. "Fuck it" its all in yer head man" almost into the top "Fuck dude your gonna piss your drawers!" old man and his wife now on the patio, eyes glued. "Ya mess yer trousers they say! Gal's watch'n and all!" "Fuck it!!! we're committed!!!" Then...i really thought about it. It took all of about a 10th of a second. "You really want ta smell like piss all day!? All sticky and shit!!!?" I could no longer take it. As i swore to myself i was already downloading pee, i threw a runnin bowline around the trunk with Ivy, looped an 8 inline, clicked out my flip line and hit the earth in a single bound. With the quickness of a sloth i was at my chosen trunk, saddle falling around my ankles. Whiped out my unit that was!!.......as dry as could be? Checked my drawers "Dry!?..... O'God, O'God, O'God, Come'On!" Never had i felt like this before. I had herd of storys about warts and differet type of VD. It crossed mymind breiffly before my "pee or flight" took over and i desperately began to"Digg" with my abbs for pee!!?,..CSF!!?...the mucus of my eyes!!?...snott!??..."Fuckn anything!, please..." My voice coming from the bilge of my lungs. Then a squirt. "O'God yes!" Then a weak as hell stream "O'God yes!' And then it stoped. Did'nt matter the visual alone brought on a sense of extacy. This time i was able to get back up the pine with the pee feeling at a minamum. Got the top roped out, and for first time blocking,Mike operated the rigging line like a pro. Following every step explained to the T. I wwas comfortable giveing him bigger and bigger blocks, which got me back to the earth that much quicker.
When i finaly had dirt under the neath of my boots and unlatched my flip line, i did'nt colaps, but began stumbling, to my ass, but used my cooth acting skills to make it appeer done on purpose. Coping a seat in the middle of a bunch of dog shit. Realizing this i still focused on removeing my hooks. Freeing up my feet i sortn of did a bit of break danceing to get to my feet. Standing up the sweet aroma of dog shit shadowing me. "Maaaaan my saddel better not have fuckn dog shit on it!" Striping off my Tree Motion as quickly as possible. Eyeballing the saddle as i pulled my last leg out. "O thank God! i brought it up in front of me for furter inspection "Clean! we can deal with it on our pants, just throw em away at the end of the day." Putting my glove back on to wipe off what i could "Would'nt cha know it" it began to rain like hell. "Come'on Chris!" Mike and the old man were calling out from inside the garage. Went for my Motion and Rainmaned my way to the shelter.
They had a lawnchair opened and set up i did'nt listen for the invetation for. Casualy checkn out the bottoms of my Spotivas for shit. Not wanting to drag dogshit into the spotless garage. "Musta lucked out." and knocked off a semisolid pile. Taking a breath and relaxing, the old man doing the samething in the chair next to mine, gazeing the rain.
It was a very very short gaze. Broken by the "Dog" shit vapors that had now invaded Grandpa's personal space. Clearly, violated. There was no hesitation in the old boy's displeasure as he looked right at me drew in a huge whiff and blew it back out with the force of a farmers snott blow. To which i immeditely reackted with a search for "bin laddin" to no avial. Instantly realizing "O'God no!" my search, as i got up,"No way!!" did'nt include, Rainmaning my way through the "My Fuckn pants!?" Making my way around to the blindside of any truck that could afford me some cover
At first i was just drop trou and let whatever fall asit may. Then was just gonna shove a bare hand down there. Then, my "Navy SEAL, McGruber, Ninja training" smacked the shock right ouda me just in time. Carefully i inscerted my hand down my drawers but not my underdrawers. Contouring the small of my back on to the Hanes down to the orphas area.
A new wave of shock. How do i clean up the small clay like cluster i identifyed upon palpation. Whats more is there more?
Wasnt waitn around to talk to the fuckn media about it eather. In that cab and down the road trying so hard not to sit flaaat,hauln ass, countn turns and keeping vigulent for any stop signs, all the while not feeling from the waist down. Well thats just one hell of a fucking trick.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
You have ;3
The fact that i was getting work done had alot too with the excelent work ethic of the folks i was paired up with. All i had to do was climb, rigg and cut. I would begin to drag a limb and Scott would just "What? Gimme that Chris." and just take it from me. I just gave up on draging anything.
When it came to climbing. I think i climed mabe four trees and the concern for falling was after Big Whisky, non existant. The climbing i did on laddders on the other hand, scared the shit out of me. Tri-pod orchard ladders is what most companys use. They have a multitude of uses. One of wich is falling over should u become offbalance or top heavy due to swinging around a chain saw or getting over zelous with an over extended pole saw. Maybe someone like me just unexpectedly just falls...maybe just jump..
Insomniea was someting i was vagely familier with. Not now. I would just lay in bed and listen to the TV and stair at the ceiling, turn and look at the clock seemed like every twenty minutes. One night i though a nice hot shower would do the trick. Trick being they key word here. This caused my vision to go all to shit. Weakness was instant, i could barely turn off the water. It took about 15 minutes of just laying on the bottom of the tub before i could get to my feet and zombie my way back to bed and wait for my alarm too go off.
The las three days i've began to refur to as the "True grit days" yeah i ripped it off . Thats not to leed anyone to belive I was anything like "Rooster" No, more like the dude Rooster and the girl stumble accross that had been strung way up in the tree. "Perhaps in hopes that it would make him more dead."
Mike and i were paired up for a "Fuels reduction" job. Beyond what the locals refer to as the south hill. A retired gentalman from California transplanted himself to a very nice chunk of realestate there. The property was full of pine trees in areas that were concerning him. He was useing language and jargen that only a Firefighter or someone who has been involved in fire would use or understand. Thats when i also found out Mike is a Fire brother from the old school. Come to find out he fought in the Yellowstone Fires of the late 80's. It totaly explained his work ethic. We were able to complete the clear cut along the sides of the road into the home and begin some of the thining on the southeast slope the first day.
The clearcut part of the job was mostly stands of regen and smaller stuff on a very gradual slope so i was able to drag the 200t aroud with me. I do mean drag, my legs were not cooperating that morning. My left leg moreso than the right one. With alot of the smaller trees so close together i was able to stay down on my left knee and sort of "kick stand" my way around on ahe slope, but when i would go to stand, it would be all whabely sometime i would just colapse. There were acouple of times i had to throw my 200 to avoid being dismembered by my own saw. It was noticeable as hell, the homeowner began asking "Are you alright?" I explained a little of what was up with me. If it would have been my turf, i think i would have called my insurance agent perhaps chase some dumbass tree people off my yardage with a 12 gauge.. But the old man just looked at me and said "You need to see a Neuroligist son." He had to have been thinking "This company flew this guy all the way from Salt lake and put him on my turff!! This guy's a fucking specialist!!?"
After lunch my legs were way more cooperative I was able to walk the patch to be thined a little more throughaly. Mike and i began making a few cuts and droping a few trees. Afeter a few were on the ground Mike took off and came back 10 minuites later with another saw and began to half the first grounded tree, put down his saw and began what would have been an insane drag! I began looking at all the flaged trees, looked back at Mike and the trail of my fuckn tears. Once agian "Fuck that shit!"e were at the top of a steep hill that lead strate down to a section of the driveway that ran accross the bottom. Looked accross the drive for a stout tree of which there were many. "Mike stop!!" kept looking "Leave that shit right there and dont cut anything except the stumps i leave," "Well..... how are we getting this stuff outta here." "We,re gonna Ax-men this fuckin shit. We aint dragn shit." "If you say so." With a big old grin.
Back at Jabba's Palace that eve: It was everything a wounded Bounty Hunter could expect, Misery.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
You have ;2
Once agian the sandpaper sheets were forceing the sleep fully clothed issue, but even that had become not enough. The "sand" had infultrated every kind of fabric i used to combat the abrasive texture. Not only that, it had increased it's relestate to include virtualy my whole body. Cope was...Words cant describe the new degree of anguish my mind was having to chew on or the amount of hate i had for cope itself. Somehow that first night i snuck in maybe a couple hours?
My Endurance levels, i dont belive had ever been pushed as they had been. Like off a fucking cliff. Recovery was so little to nonexistant. Even with my new non alcohol diet. The Marlboros were a killer. When i took a drag it was as if the smoke bypassed my lungs entirely and went strate to my muscles particularly my legs. It would feel like some sort hardner was being pumped into my muscles. Being up in Spokane alone dealing with what seemed to be..My existance being erased? Quiting smoking had crossed my mind and mind was like "Hell no!!" no booze, no drugs besides the ibuprofin. No other way to deal with the anxity? No we were gonna be stupid and smoke.
Going down the stairs the next morning was the best i would do the whole time there. On the drive in, agian the visuals were spookey, just had to sit there and "trip" alone. Ibuprofin 800 and the Sysco blend coffee was breakfast. Rockstar and an apple for second breakfast, anything that could instill anykind of refined, focused energy. Legal, illegal i really could not have cared. Although i stumbled upon at lunch one day, Subway gave me a boost. It was so noticable that i insisted Subway at lunch everyday.
Funny enough there was'nt much climbing to be done. On those days i was sent with one hell of a groundman. Mike. On days i did'nt climb i was put on the boom truck with another great individual. Scott Topp. It was Scott that one day while doing a pruning job asked "Hey Chris, whats going on with that club foot you got going there?" "Scott it's like this." Confiding only some, of what was happening to me. "I dont know what the fuck i got! Hey man, what the fuck are richets?" He began laughing his ass off. "Chris i dont think you have to worry about fuckn Richets buddy." "Thank god! that weight's off my shoulders!" laughing along with him. Somehow still a sence of humor. I was gonna need it for the 10,000 dys that lye ahead.
There was one day i climed with Scott as my "RIO" . I mention this only because this was the first/only/last time scott whitnessed my climbing. If Scott had any dbouts he sure did a good job of holding his tounge. We were in a white ash tree that needed to be cut away from the fourth floor back to its collar. The cuts needed to be rigged so as to break nothing. Lucly i hit a decent rigg point for myself and it was a very good thing. Getting my spikes to puch into the hardwood, was "like fuckin Bambi on the ice" i muttered to myself catpawing my way up the latteral. We still got the work completed relitively quiickly, with absolutely nothing left. Well, i was able to lean on my tool (rake).
As the days wound up, so to did the skys. Nodding off for the ride to my dwelling was nothing butt serious dreaming watching the lights begin there show as blue got darker and darker.
My second night was the only night i went moonlighting alone to the bowling ally/casino/ nasty skeeeeeeezzzah depot across a 4 lane auto-ban that had stop lights about 1/2 mile in eather direction. "Fuck that shit!" i kinda made the decision before i even looked. When i did look, the coast was clear. With a brisk shuffel i started off. About 3/4s the way through my first set of lanes lights began moving and the end of the next set. "Oooooh shit..." In my mind "we're committed jim." About 1/2 way throughthe first lane "Hope er ready ta see Montana tonight! DeeBee Cooper style!!" and began waving my arms "Hope they see the dumbass inthe road." As i finished the sententence the car in the final lane spoted me "Your damn lucky jim" and was allowed across. The food was fit for a bbilly goat "When in Rome" The waitresses were as hot as fresh buffalo chips. Getting back to my nest, i swore i was going to the cross walk at the light. About twenty feet into that journey "All hope is lost!" That walk probibly would have taken me in my conditiontill 2 or 3 in the morning. Once agian "Fuck the dumb shit!!" This time i made it across with the stealth of a crack head and was alowed safe passage.
]
My Endurance levels, i dont belive had ever been pushed as they had been. Like off a fucking cliff. Recovery was so little to nonexistant. Even with my new non alcohol diet. The Marlboros were a killer. When i took a drag it was as if the smoke bypassed my lungs entirely and went strate to my muscles particularly my legs. It would feel like some sort hardner was being pumped into my muscles. Being up in Spokane alone dealing with what seemed to be..My existance being erased? Quiting smoking had crossed my mind and mind was like "Hell no!!" no booze, no drugs besides the ibuprofin. No other way to deal with the anxity? No we were gonna be stupid and smoke.
Going down the stairs the next morning was the best i would do the whole time there. On the drive in, agian the visuals were spookey, just had to sit there and "trip" alone. Ibuprofin 800 and the Sysco blend coffee was breakfast. Rockstar and an apple for second breakfast, anything that could instill anykind of refined, focused energy. Legal, illegal i really could not have cared. Although i stumbled upon at lunch one day, Subway gave me a boost. It was so noticable that i insisted Subway at lunch everyday.
Funny enough there was'nt much climbing to be done. On those days i was sent with one hell of a groundman. Mike. On days i did'nt climb i was put on the boom truck with another great individual. Scott Topp. It was Scott that one day while doing a pruning job asked "Hey Chris, whats going on with that club foot you got going there?" "Scott it's like this." Confiding only some, of what was happening to me. "I dont know what the fuck i got! Hey man, what the fuck are richets?" He began laughing his ass off. "Chris i dont think you have to worry about fuckn Richets buddy." "Thank god! that weight's off my shoulders!" laughing along with him. Somehow still a sence of humor. I was gonna need it for the 10,000 dys that lye ahead.
There was one day i climed with Scott as my "RIO" . I mention this only because this was the first/only/last time scott whitnessed my climbing. If Scott had any dbouts he sure did a good job of holding his tounge. We were in a white ash tree that needed to be cut away from the fourth floor back to its collar. The cuts needed to be rigged so as to break nothing. Lucly i hit a decent rigg point for myself and it was a very good thing. Getting my spikes to puch into the hardwood, was "like fuckin Bambi on the ice" i muttered to myself catpawing my way up the latteral. We still got the work completed relitively quiickly, with absolutely nothing left. Well, i was able to lean on my tool (rake).
As the days wound up, so to did the skys. Nodding off for the ride to my dwelling was nothing butt serious dreaming watching the lights begin there show as blue got darker and darker.
My second night was the only night i went moonlighting alone to the bowling ally/casino/ nasty skeeeeeeezzzah depot across a 4 lane auto-ban that had stop lights about 1/2 mile in eather direction. "Fuck that shit!" i kinda made the decision before i even looked. When i did look, the coast was clear. With a brisk shuffel i started off. About 3/4s the way through my first set of lanes lights began moving and the end of the next set. "Oooooh shit..." In my mind "we're committed jim." About 1/2 way throughthe first lane "Hope er ready ta see Montana tonight! DeeBee Cooper style!!" and began waving my arms "Hope they see the dumbass inthe road." As i finished the sententence the car in the final lane spoted me "Your damn lucky jim" and was allowed across. The food was fit for a bbilly goat "When in Rome" The waitresses were as hot as fresh buffalo chips. Getting back to my nest, i swore i was going to the cross walk at the light. About twenty feet into that journey "All hope is lost!" That walk probibly would have taken me in my conditiontill 2 or 3 in the morning. Once agian "Fuck the dumb shit!!" This time i made it across with the stealth of a crack head and was alowed safe passage.
]
Friday, May 11, 2012
You have made your world mine.....
Once agian i managed to get myself on a plane. This time for Sokane, Washington. 'Your going to Sokane to die Chris!" One of the many things my Wife pleaded/begged/got loud about...almost threatend, bouncing around in my head all flight. OBVIOUSLY, none the less"The only easy day was yesterday" Dumb ass.
My work was slowly beginig to key in on what was up with me. Jason peirce met me at the pick up, jumped out of the truck ran in the airport, grabed my bags for me and loaded them himself. So there was communication between branches about my "Status" yet still chose to let me roll the dice. "They're giving me all the rope i cared to take. Seemed another one of my own princeples was putting me to its test. Recognizing this "I shall finish the game." Time as always, holds the noose,trap door and lever, ooooooooooooor the ability to William Tell yourself trough it all.
It was when we left the airport that a new issue made its first appearence. As we pulled out on the interstate Jay went to merge with trafic. Cars go flyin by as usual but what not usual was the phyicidelic type tracers folowing right behind the traffic. "Is this what they warned me about in school.. A flash back?" Was in my head! All the lights everywhere. The small street lights would not stay stationary, they all seemd to move around or rotate in there own cycle or repitition, not fast, all very slowly. I was totaly aware that Jason was not seeing these things. This was very alarming and truely frightning. If i toid Jayson what i was seeing "Knowing you Chris you got some bad shrooms or Acid or something." And he may have been right, had i not givin that shit up with my youth. This was going to have to stay with me. No dbout, which was terrifying not being able to "debriff" about the "phanaminon." All i could do was observe things that would cause this condition to improve or decline. The one thing i found that worked: Stay out of the dark.
Jay droped me off at my porn set on Skidrow. They put me on the second floor. Yeah, no elevator, i was truly concerned about the stairs. I began to count how many times a day i would use them. "Once for work and back. Once for dinner. Smokes? Fuck, there's no tellin." The stair wells were concrete, no carpet, no tackey sandy paint, nothin. Whith the chance encounterwith a junky a ladie of the night or a fuckin Troll. If i took a Humpty Dumpty, there's no tellin my fate.
.....
My work was slowly beginig to key in on what was up with me. Jason peirce met me at the pick up, jumped out of the truck ran in the airport, grabed my bags for me and loaded them himself. So there was communication between branches about my "Status" yet still chose to let me roll the dice. "They're giving me all the rope i cared to take. Seemed another one of my own princeples was putting me to its test. Recognizing this "I shall finish the game." Time as always, holds the noose,trap door and lever, ooooooooooooor the ability to William Tell yourself trough it all.
It was when we left the airport that a new issue made its first appearence. As we pulled out on the interstate Jay went to merge with trafic. Cars go flyin by as usual but what not usual was the phyicidelic type tracers folowing right behind the traffic. "Is this what they warned me about in school.. A flash back?" Was in my head! All the lights everywhere. The small street lights would not stay stationary, they all seemd to move around or rotate in there own cycle or repitition, not fast, all very slowly. I was totaly aware that Jason was not seeing these things. This was very alarming and truely frightning. If i toid Jayson what i was seeing "Knowing you Chris you got some bad shrooms or Acid or something." And he may have been right, had i not givin that shit up with my youth. This was going to have to stay with me. No dbout, which was terrifying not being able to "debriff" about the "phanaminon." All i could do was observe things that would cause this condition to improve or decline. The one thing i found that worked: Stay out of the dark.
Jay droped me off at my porn set on Skidrow. They put me on the second floor. Yeah, no elevator, i was truly concerned about the stairs. I began to count how many times a day i would use them. "Once for work and back. Once for dinner. Smokes? Fuck, there's no tellin." The stair wells were concrete, no carpet, no tackey sandy paint, nothin. Whith the chance encounterwith a junky a ladie of the night or a fuckin Troll. If i took a Humpty Dumpty, there's no tellin my fate.
.....
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