Late spring 2004 Kill Devil Hills
With certanty i knew i did'nt want to work for anyone with the name "Outlaw"unless its me ofcourse. Thats what the secratery or whoever answerd the phone for the full page full color add that had advertised "Dominating the OuterBanx" refered to the owner as. Giving me another number for his cell phone. Dialing this numeber, i was convincing myself i had'nt herd "Outlaw" "Musta been hearing shit. "Hello" in that colonial southern voice. Sounded like a kid. Being careful not to say the name "Yes sir, my name isChris Reid, i just relocated here from Salt Lake City. I am a climber and was told your the person to talk to about tree work." So stoked is how i felt when he told me to "Come on out. You know where Wan-cheese is?" Thats when i just knew "This shits no good man...." This is one thing Levi warned me about "Dont go to Wan cheese unless you felt like geting in trouble and under no cicumstances "Chris, never call someone from wan cheese a Wan Cheeser unless you feel like gettin fucked up." But it was a possible job which i reasoned was "Money" As all i had left after my first night out was 250.00 bucks to my name, no job, the nearest family i had was in Georga. The lawn care compaaany i had spoken to in the 17th street parking lot gave me the number to "Family tree" but they were not hireing. They,in turn gave me another name and number "Atlantic Tree, i think he hurt his back from what i understand, i think he's looking for some help." She gave me the number, i thanked her as we hung up. I called the number i was givin only to get an answering machine. "Shit dude you dont beleve in workin in the cool temps of the mornin?", after that is when i began my search through the phone book, and thats when i saw the full page add that had bad "juju" in just fliping to the add. Got dressed grabd a copy of my resume and began to walk out the door when the phone rang "Please be Atlantic Tree. Hello..." It was a womans voice...i thought so anyway...." Yeah Reid!!?" "This is" super loud interuption "Hold on!! Morgaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!" Had to pull my ear away from the phone. "Yeah Reid!? Yes this is Chris" "Yeah you start tomarrow, bring your Saddle and be here at eight." "Um, i was kinda wonering about this other company?...."They may have that boom truck an a bunch a fancy paint but thats awll they got!! What, ya talk to Outlaw already!?" " Yeah, and they want me to meet them in Wan-Cheese." " Well Mr if you value yer life whatsoever, youell stay the hell away from them!!" "Yeah somthing about a dude named Outlaw being a boss of mine just bwasnt sittin well." Then agian something about a crazy woman screaming in the phone i got a job was kinda strange too. But the screamer did say "start tomarrow" And it sure as hell was'nt Wan-Cheese. The beach was litterly 30 seconds from my front door, i had money."Eight o'clock ya say?" " You know where Kittyhawk road is? You get out on the by-pass road, go north. There el be a 7-11 on the leftand the Post Office on the right. Thats Kittyhawk road, turn left." I got waisted the rest of that day.
As if the signs wernt screamen at me the day before, i was being bitch slaped with them the next day. I dont know if it was the stars and bars flyn on the property next door. The Rot-y-ler "Morgan" with the hippo teeth that tryed to eat me. The three groundmen already at the yard when i arived, two of them with a kick ass dental plan and the one sportn the stars and bars in ink on his forarm and bandanna. Perhaps the Giant fucken Lehprican with all the skulls inked on his right sleeve that walked out the house 10 minutes after my pilgamidge. I would recon it was good i wore my shades 24 hours a day, for my eye's would have easly told anyone who could read, would've known i was shiting my pants. Oh dear god, here we go! "Hi im Chris i spoke with your wife yesteerday" Extending my hand, prepairing for a crunch. "Im Mark Fletcher. Im the owner operator of Atlantic Tree." Having mercey on my hand, i thought was a good sign. For a resume, i was just using copys of my Smokejumper resume, after buildinng one of those id be damned if i ever filled out another application agian. He gave it a quick glance fliped the pages.threw it in the house. "Yeah, we'll see where yer at.. lets take a walk down here." As we were pulling down the driveway in the f-700 beast, i just kinda gave him a quickover of my totaly rad tree dude carrier, i was really currious about where the job we were headed to was. When Mr Fletcher pulled out onto Kittyhawk road he went strait accrost onto Woods Rd and went past a sign that read Kittyhawk woods. "Wow" i thought, noticing the trees began to increse in size, the "woods" were just that, super dense and jungle like. I was liken this. We had probibly gone a half mile then we began to slow and took a right.The jungel (woods) just seemed to swallow the truck. A quick veer to right and then to the left. The freshly laid balacktop wwwas to the woods as Moses was to the dead sea. But the blacktop revealed a Better Homes and Gardens wet dream. A Barbee house frm hell.
As we pulled to the back of the huge lot a green pick up in the driveway in gold lettering read John Croner Roofing. "Tree causing roof damage?" I asked investigattingly. The steroid fortifyed"Lucky" jut shook his head and quitely spoke "This is "Elton" John Cronners House." "You mean the guy who owns that truck, owns this?" All bright eyed. I was met with a casual nod and spit into his chaw cup. He parked us at the rear of the property near a line of large Tough sheds. Showing him my Buckingham glide did'nt get the reaction i had thought i would get. Handing the saddel over to him, he held my 280 dollars of totally awsomeness up like it was bought at a lingere store. Talk about shoot'n a climbers "horse" He was also admireing the way i was using a knot in my flip line to lock off with versus the trditional Gibbs that everyother climber with an ounce of sence used. "Uh, Chris, i have, uh, never seen this used like, uh, this." Inquireing about the "unique" configureation and manner in which i was "customized" to Death...literaly. I assured him "This is how i was taught by my last boss." Mark was whearing shades and im possitive i would have seen the "Are you smokin boulders!!!" eyes screamin at me. "I,ll show ya." Thinking i had assured him. He loand me his set of hooks to climb with. While i was gettin my things together so was mark. He had switched out of the tan Wolverine s into a pair of Water Mocasens, a type of anti-snakebite boot laced to just below the knee a Bright orange almost brand new Pacificco kevlar hardhat, he had left the chinstrap hanging. Were it not for his beefcakeness i know i would have laughed my ass off. He looked like an Ostrich Jockey hunting for monkey. The little chubby Jonny Rebeled out Papa Smurff named Jerry pulled up on a fourwheeler "Ye caaan put chaw geeeare own heeere." " "Thanksman." "Owwha." "Jerry, uh, grab a couple of ropes, that shoulddo it. He loaded the racks with gear hoped on and putted away. Mr Fletcher and i began to walk along the rear fence of the backyard to the north east corner of the turff. Mark walked to the base of two southern yellow pines, turned faceing me "Alright,uh, Chris, i want you to bring these two to the earth. Extending his arm with finger up sstrate into the air. My eyes following the general direction, up. OOOOOh mmyyyyyy gooooooddd! thats gotta be at least ahundred feet! Mark continued on "I want everything roped out. "Ok" whatever in the hell that means.h and uh, this houe is bout 4 million dollars jJim, dont hit it. It was 9 am. Who the hells Jim?
By the time i had made it to the top of "tower 1" i did'nt thinki had anything left it was a real good thing he rechanted and let me freefall everything. Not that that saved anytime. Before i begaqn i had shown Mark a new kevlar filled shirt i had ordered from Stihl, it acted as saw chaps for the arm and sholders. "Im gonna need one of these" i said tomyself being Mr safety and all. Mark had checked it out with some intrest. "Cool" i was feeling a little confidence building with his curiosity "You gonna whear that?" "Yeah" "Hmmm" Now i understood what fuckn "Hmmm" ment. Heat was my element "I was born of fire and ice!!" All cocky as hell. But when i had cut off the HUGE 3 foot top i could no longer hold my chainsaw up. Glancing over at "Tower #2" and then down the "Hundred foot" trunk seeing "Baboon tamer" and now a fullbrimed hard hatted "Jonny rebel Papa smurf known as Jerry, both with there arms foldedas if i was the days entertainment. "Theres no way in hell im climbing up there too. Im setting my blue over there and swinging over there"( Such a smart guy i was.) "I need a polesaw with two sticks!!!" "Hey, uh Chris!! Igave em my attention "I need you to take ,uh,fifteen foot of that pole!!" Giveing a nod of the order,an awwfuuuck moan came upon me. I still set my line tied my "Blake's" sent down my polesaw and began my decent through all the staabs i had left behind "What a pain in the ass" The lessons to be learned from my first time in the "big Wood" were innumerable looking back, that if someone would have pointed out all the stupid shit i was doing i probibly would have found a new profestion. I took off all the staabs and the 15' Baboon tamer required, in one foot rounds. Everytime i threw down a round, the Tamer would yell up "Bigger!!" I would look down and see him say "Something??-cut!!" Not having the slightest clue what he was saying i would just continue on.till he got his 15' and then swung over to tower #2. Much quicker going than tower #1, still i left a trail of staabs unable to understand the error of my ways. I got to the top hacked off the trophy, took a breather(smoke), looked down and saw a third face who was also experenceing the show."Must be John Cronner, i must addmit he does look alot like Elton. You fuckers enjoyn yourselfs? So now i untie to work my way back through yet another gauntlet of staabs for the second time unprotechted, this time inexcusably so. I get down to the same higth as tower #1. Just as i had killed the 200T and felt a tug on my hip, looked down to see the grey fullbrim and smurff bootie's scampering away. I drew my blue up untill the splice with the white line in it made it to me. Papa smurffs down there yelling and giving me some signs. I could'nt help but start grin and kakel. Right about then Mark yells out "Jerry!!! what in the hell are you doin!?" You could see Mark had put em in check buy the way Jerrys head started bobin and a scowell back at Mark. I reached for my figure8 the white line was secured to the trunk. "What the fuck!?"there was no figure8 anywhere on my saddel. I thought i was gonna be macgyver and use the tail of my blue with a blakes hitch. This was a very rude and embarassing way to find out i was using a double rope technique on a single rope. So i gaff out and slid around 25 feet before i let go of the hitch. the knot scinched down so hard i swore the almighty himself was'nt gonna crack the knot. 20 more minutes i had to dangel there trying to aleveate weight to losten the bind the hitch had on the rope. Finely, i took another 25 foot plunge and the same thing happend. This time 5 feet off the hard deck. Lucky for me Mark and Jerry were prepaired to handel getting me off line from that point cause there was no life left in me. All at once i threw up and bout blacked out from the heat. "Welcome to the south Jim! My watch read 1 pm
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Sunday, February 12, 2012
I've #7 (The Big Whiskey Chronicles Part I)
My thoughts and prayers are with the Cox family and the 2 Powell Boys.
Not to long after "Dr Tree Love" and the White Ash (days) I was back at the "Company" "Blah, Blah ,Blah" the ring of my three way. It was Steve. Agian i had another request to travel, this time they wanted me in Spokane Wa. They wanhted me to be appart of the new Tree dude relocation program, that i had propositiond/lobbied like hell for for years. I really wanted to spend some time in the Podarosa Pines in that area of the Northwest, and givvin the chance, could make some serious pesos. They wanted me to move there originaly. The family would4nt here of it Kinda bummed me out at the time. And that had added even more ambition to make Utah MY home base of opperation's for some sort of " National Arborist Opperations Center" or something like that. A pipe dream. Now, not only had another Branch/state requested my services. This would be the third time in a month i would be in travel status. The super awsome part was that Spokane was willing to room and board me for a month this time! Steve! "Dude Chris, get your ass up to Washinigton and get the fuck off my payroll! Let those queers up there pay your way for a montlh." I grined and let out a fake as hell laugh and just froze up inside. The last time i had that deer caught in the headlights charge come over me due to someting carrier orented, i was being escorted off a Hellibase in Santaquin, on a Type 1 Fire. I had been insubordinate to and talked some serious shit on and called rotton names on the Assistan Sup of my Hellitack crew. I got in her face,it was bad. I lost my Dream with the USFS because of it. If anyone knows Marena Reba or your reading this...IM SO SORRY MARENA. Lost for words is where i was. Being so wraped up in my "only easy day was yesterday/ Stop the madness" conflict in my head, i dont think rashinality was something i could grasp. This had become a battle of wills. The The Chris Reid SEAL waanabe will agianst the phantom "Forest Griffin" will. The wanna be had been holding his own, but Mr Meeahgee never went over how to handel a beast of this nature
."Steve the Grand Pubah of our branch", was a friend/co-worker on the applications side, before he was promoted to Branch Mgr,, and he could see, how whatever i had was no longer overseeable or something to claim "ignorants" too. Should something happen to me on his clock. Now he was whearing his Branch Mgr hat and his good buddy hat. There was a sort of struggle i could pick up on, in the looks and glance's i kept feeling on me. "Wull when do they want me?" "Tony wants you to get ahold of em to work out the details. " Giving a questioning look and raisen the brows. "Fuck Steve..i dont know???" "Yeah man, i,ve been watchen ya stuggle pretty hard...this is your job man, Corporite put in this request. What, you gonna tell em no?""No..." Steve, was permiting me all my rope, the gallo and the lever. Yet trusting me to yell out "Guilty!" Before ever letting the trap door swing on myself. "What cha gonna do?""All i can do, tell the truth...Ill just let em know i have'nt been feeling that great and need a little time.....After i make Tony track me down." Met with a pause, deep breaththe the look the brow thing and a reluctant "Alright..."
Peering through the rearview "This must be Mr Dave" As a pickup come flying upthe road. I still could not belive anyone would let this go. Recalling the first time we spoke"Yeah Chris, i think we got it taken care of. Diamond's comming up here this weekend." " Oh, you're able to get ahold of em?" Shit, any time another bird gets the worm, it sucks. He called me the next day. "Holyshit" They had screwed him agian. He gave them one more shake after already burning him once already.
Thats when he toldm oln me they were gona "Drop it"As we were ruising up the "Exclusive" resedents only section of the canyon. I had no idea where the black top turned to washboard ended. Usually, i would be grining with a bit of antisipation. Today, no grin here. The antisipation was building and so was a feeling of dread. Horney or Dave, was a smaller fella, if i had to guess was in the late fourtys. Was quick, concise and to the point type dude. When he hoped out of his ride with the a can of suds some quick intro and instruction on the gate, drove his road as if he was Miky Thompson. "fuckn Jack Russell Terrior! I like em." My redneck caddi was driving on clouds. Since aquiring the Cummins, most of theother trucks i deemed "infereor and uncivilized" with a chuckel. We rounded a bend aaand off to the east there was a pond or wetland, one more bend to the west and the final driveway. "This is one fuckn awsome place..Holyshit." I saw a tall one with some "Dr Seuse" lean on it comeing in, it was dead in front of me now "That must be him" right underneith the crestinig fur stood Horneys cabin. "Yeah i could see how that could make a Horney guy go limp." Continuing my laugh sliding out of my seat onto the pact miniril soil of the driveway. "Well you can see my problem Chris!?" "Well hell yeah. So Dimond jerked ya off huh?" "Hell ya Chris! You would'nt do that would ya Chris!" Daves a very....Direct dude. "Uh, no sir!" "Elliot would'nt send me someone like that." My footing wasnt to bad but i was having to really concentrate on it though. Moving from the levelness of the parking area through the fire ring and the transition up the slope to trhe rear of Daves cabin. About 30-40 feet up hill from there stands a 100+ feet of "none other than Sub alpine fur. Hello big fella!...So, the other guys sayed they were gonna put a face cut in and drop it?" As i was doing the muti tasking walk\gab\look\point thing, something was bound to give and that was my balance. I hit the ground. "Oh shiiit!" "Chris, what happend.... you alright?""JYeah, i triped on that root" i was lucky there happend to be a root stiking out of the soil " i've been feeling really weak lately, i dunno whats up..." "Not sure. So, they wanted 2 bills to face cut and drop this thing?" " They sayed they wanted to pull it over Chris.." looking at that option i saw pulling to the east the only way for anyone with common sence, attempt to do it. To do that it appeard you would need about 5 hanks worth of rope, some two way radios3 or 4 spotters and a new Insurance agent at the ready. First off its a furr tree, not a vascular tree. They are very soft It s on a slope. Its total natural lean is down hill with th8e "Jack Russells" homestead 40ft down hill fom where" big walley" stands I think about it. "If it were my place? Would i be Mr swinging dick Feller and drop it? Lets say i got all the rope ,wedges, radios and the trust and know how of my crew? Maybe. As thinges are? Nope. To many human factors not to mention whats gonna happen when he hits the earth? He'."s big enough, it's possible it'll roll down into the back of Daves cabin. I did'nt like it. "Well..what da ya think Chris?" Droping my head, Horneys still looking up. "Listen Mr Horn" "Dave please Chris." "Dave, i would'nt drop this tree. I dont feel good about it. And neither should you as the home owner." I went on to explaine why." So what what daya sayn? You want to climb it?" "Thats how i'd prefer to do it. Wedging that thing over is way to close for me. No, if i was taking this tree down id be climbing it." Giving another up and down and i was almost down agian! "You ok Chris...?" "My equalibreum's all jacked. I must still hve some of that flu." Another lie. " "Well Chris , hows soon could you do it.""How soon do you need it done Dave?" Grining now "How about this weekend?" Damn! "If thats what you require, we'll be here. This is gonna cost ya five hundred bucks..." That raised the anti. Lets see the flop. "You'll be here saturday?" "Yes sir" "Alright saturday morning." Bingo! After the deal had been brokered we had a beer. For the life of me i cant remember our chit chat. But i can tell ya what i was thinking "Ok Jim...What the fuck are we gonna do now!!!!? Are you insane Jim? Jim, you've gone and lost your damn mind!!" As i gazed up at big walley "So when you say climb wha`t are you gonna do
ccut the top out ?" "Yes sir" with a nod. And wheres it gonna go?" " I'll lower it down!" "I dont know....Yer insured ofcourse???" " To 2 Million" " But i thought thats why you needed this done. To mitigate not litigate." "I think im gonna film it. I thinik my brother will be up here with his kids scout troup. They'll be cuting up that pile3 of wood there. That'll be ok wont it" "They're gonna get one hell of a Jr Woodchuck merit badge demenstration." Hope i dont pull a Gyro n kill myself infront of them.
Blah, blah,blah. What itd take two days before Tony came at me via threeway. "Yeah Steve told me" A month was out of the Qwestion. Told em sometings up with me. "Id hate for me to go up there only to come back because im sick. That would be a total waste." Id know more after this weekend. If i can knock out this one over the weekend id feel ok about giving so time up north." I'll talk to you monday"
Not to long after "Dr Tree Love" and the White Ash (days) I was back at the "Company" "Blah, Blah ,Blah" the ring of my three way. It was Steve. Agian i had another request to travel, this time they wanted me in Spokane Wa. They wanhted me to be appart of the new Tree dude relocation program, that i had propositiond/lobbied like hell for for years. I really wanted to spend some time in the Podarosa Pines in that area of the Northwest, and givvin the chance, could make some serious pesos. They wanted me to move there originaly. The family would4nt here of it Kinda bummed me out at the time. And that had added even more ambition to make Utah MY home base of opperation's for some sort of " National Arborist Opperations Center" or something like that. A pipe dream. Now, not only had another Branch/state requested my services. This would be the third time in a month i would be in travel status. The super awsome part was that Spokane was willing to room and board me for a month this time! Steve! "Dude Chris, get your ass up to Washinigton and get the fuck off my payroll! Let those queers up there pay your way for a montlh." I grined and let out a fake as hell laugh and just froze up inside. The last time i had that deer caught in the headlights charge come over me due to someting carrier orented, i was being escorted off a Hellibase in Santaquin, on a Type 1 Fire. I had been insubordinate to and talked some serious shit on and called rotton names on the Assistan Sup of my Hellitack crew. I got in her face,it was bad. I lost my Dream with the USFS because of it. If anyone knows Marena Reba or your reading this...IM SO SORRY MARENA. Lost for words is where i was. Being so wraped up in my "only easy day was yesterday/ Stop the madness" conflict in my head, i dont think rashinality was something i could grasp. This had become a battle of wills. The The Chris Reid SEAL waanabe will agianst the phantom "Forest Griffin" will. The wanna be had been holding his own, but Mr Meeahgee never went over how to handel a beast of this nature
."Steve the Grand Pubah of our branch", was a friend/co-worker on the applications side, before he was promoted to Branch Mgr,, and he could see, how whatever i had was no longer overseeable or something to claim "ignorants" too. Should something happen to me on his clock. Now he was whearing his Branch Mgr hat and his good buddy hat. There was a sort of struggle i could pick up on, in the looks and glance's i kept feeling on me. "Wull when do they want me?" "Tony wants you to get ahold of em to work out the details. " Giving a questioning look and raisen the brows. "Fuck Steve..i dont know???" "Yeah man, i,ve been watchen ya stuggle pretty hard...this is your job man, Corporite put in this request. What, you gonna tell em no?""No..." Steve, was permiting me all my rope, the gallo and the lever. Yet trusting me to yell out "Guilty!" Before ever letting the trap door swing on myself. "What cha gonna do?""All i can do, tell the truth...Ill just let em know i have'nt been feeling that great and need a little time.....After i make Tony track me down." Met with a pause, deep breaththe the look the brow thing and a reluctant "Alright..."
Peering through the rearview "This must be Mr Dave" As a pickup come flying upthe road. I still could not belive anyone would let this go. Recalling the first time we spoke"Yeah Chris, i think we got it taken care of. Diamond's comming up here this weekend." " Oh, you're able to get ahold of em?" Shit, any time another bird gets the worm, it sucks. He called me the next day. "Holyshit" They had screwed him agian. He gave them one more shake after already burning him once already.
Thats when he toldm oln me they were gona "Drop it"As we were ruising up the "Exclusive" resedents only section of the canyon. I had no idea where the black top turned to washboard ended. Usually, i would be grining with a bit of antisipation. Today, no grin here. The antisipation was building and so was a feeling of dread. Horney or Dave, was a smaller fella, if i had to guess was in the late fourtys. Was quick, concise and to the point type dude. When he hoped out of his ride with the a can of suds some quick intro and instruction on the gate, drove his road as if he was Miky Thompson. "fuckn Jack Russell Terrior! I like em." My redneck caddi was driving on clouds. Since aquiring the Cummins, most of theother trucks i deemed "infereor and uncivilized" with a chuckel. We rounded a bend aaand off to the east there was a pond or wetland, one more bend to the west and the final driveway. "This is one fuckn awsome place..Holyshit." I saw a tall one with some "Dr Seuse" lean on it comeing in, it was dead in front of me now "That must be him" right underneith the crestinig fur stood Horneys cabin. "Yeah i could see how that could make a Horney guy go limp." Continuing my laugh sliding out of my seat onto the pact miniril soil of the driveway. "Well you can see my problem Chris!?" "Well hell yeah. So Dimond jerked ya off huh?" "Hell ya Chris! You would'nt do that would ya Chris!" Daves a very....Direct dude. "Uh, no sir!" "Elliot would'nt send me someone like that." My footing wasnt to bad but i was having to really concentrate on it though. Moving from the levelness of the parking area through the fire ring and the transition up the slope to trhe rear of Daves cabin. About 30-40 feet up hill from there stands a 100+ feet of "none other than Sub alpine fur. Hello big fella!...So, the other guys sayed they were gonna put a face cut in and drop it?" As i was doing the muti tasking walk\gab\look\point thing, something was bound to give and that was my balance. I hit the ground. "Oh shiiit!" "Chris, what happend.... you alright?""JYeah, i triped on that root" i was lucky there happend to be a root stiking out of the soil " i've been feeling really weak lately, i dunno whats up..." "Not sure. So, they wanted 2 bills to face cut and drop this thing?" " They sayed they wanted to pull it over Chris.." looking at that option i saw pulling to the east the only way for anyone with common sence, attempt to do it. To do that it appeard you would need about 5 hanks worth of rope, some two way radios3 or 4 spotters and a new Insurance agent at the ready. First off its a furr tree, not a vascular tree. They are very soft It s on a slope. Its total natural lean is down hill with th8e "Jack Russells" homestead 40ft down hill fom where" big walley" stands I think about it. "If it were my place? Would i be Mr swinging dick Feller and drop it? Lets say i got all the rope ,wedges, radios and the trust and know how of my crew? Maybe. As thinges are? Nope. To many human factors not to mention whats gonna happen when he hits the earth? He'."s big enough, it's possible it'll roll down into the back of Daves cabin. I did'nt like it. "Well..what da ya think Chris?" Droping my head, Horneys still looking up. "Listen Mr Horn" "Dave please Chris." "Dave, i would'nt drop this tree. I dont feel good about it. And neither should you as the home owner." I went on to explaine why." So what what daya sayn? You want to climb it?" "Thats how i'd prefer to do it. Wedging that thing over is way to close for me. No, if i was taking this tree down id be climbing it." Giving another up and down and i was almost down agian! "You ok Chris...?" "My equalibreum's all jacked. I must still hve some of that flu." Another lie. " "Well Chris , hows soon could you do it.""How soon do you need it done Dave?" Grining now "How about this weekend?" Damn! "If thats what you require, we'll be here. This is gonna cost ya five hundred bucks..." That raised the anti. Lets see the flop. "You'll be here saturday?" "Yes sir" "Alright saturday morning." Bingo! After the deal had been brokered we had a beer. For the life of me i cant remember our chit chat. But i can tell ya what i was thinking "Ok Jim...What the fuck are we gonna do now!!!!? Are you insane Jim? Jim, you've gone and lost your damn mind!!" As i gazed up at big walley "So when you say climb wha`t are you gonna do
ccut the top out ?" "Yes sir" with a nod. And wheres it gonna go?" " I'll lower it down!" "I dont know....Yer insured ofcourse???" " To 2 Million" " But i thought thats why you needed this done. To mitigate not litigate." "I think im gonna film it. I thinik my brother will be up here with his kids scout troup. They'll be cuting up that pile3 of wood there. That'll be ok wont it" "They're gonna get one hell of a Jr Woodchuck merit badge demenstration." Hope i dont pull a Gyro n kill myself infront of them.
Blah, blah,blah. What itd take two days before Tony came at me via threeway. "Yeah Steve told me" A month was out of the Qwestion. Told em sometings up with me. "Id hate for me to go up there only to come back because im sick. That would be a total waste." Id know more after this weekend. If i can knock out this one over the weekend id feel ok about giving so time up north." I'll talk to you monday"
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I've #6
In the north east part of the Salt Lake vally is located the oldest University west of the Missisory river. Nestled all around the Universy of Utah is the area known as the Ave's. Historicly this was know as a lower income living back in the day. Interestingly enough, this area became a Historical area and has been registerd as so. Some really uniqe turn of the centry structures has lead to the folks who reside here to do some very spendy Restoration projects. Along with the Hansel and Grettle esq housing is a trove of trees planted from the days of old. Common are the sycamores, Ash and Maples that line the parking strips. There is also quite a few ornamentals that have been researched extencively by the arbor adoring resident/community, BEFORE, ground was broken and the sapling was destined for doom. Which makes that location a real pleasure to work in. Many times was i being tested about what pest, desease, fungi......std! the damn thing had. Already knowing what it had. Other times its "How did we get a fungus?" "You must not be using protechtion...." Its an ice breaker and a way for me to gauge my clientel. And in the Ave's folks seem to apreciate a sence of humor. Its just a fun place to work and be in the Salt Lake area. Al of Tree Love tree care managed to sniff out a treasure of an Ash (lol) It was in serious need of weight reduction or the risk of losing a large amount of award winning structure was imminant. I got out my throw line and a 8oz throw weight. When setting a climb line, im not just looking for the highest strong crotch im also looking for the crotch that alows for the best access to 360d degrees of the tree. We call this locating your "purches point" and to hit one of these with a throw line....Fly Fishing's for pussys in comparesin. After getting set up for the toss i gavemy sweet spot a quick glance and with a few swings with my arm i let the last swing be the big one and at the endof the swing there is a snap of a wrist and release. And even in my pathetic condition "I fucken hit it! on my first try even!" Which ment I get to climb first and set Duanes line for him too. I was actually able to reachthe top pretty quickly, got Duanes line set and we were business. Now, this Ash tree was not a huge tree, but it was large enough to be tag teamed and wraped up in....half a day with 2 in the air?...Nope. With me suffering from "mongolian butt fungus" or what ever i had. Duane's not a "Green horn" but he does move slower," he'll get quicker with more time in the saddle" still his pace is much Quicker than mine. This was not an all day tree!, yet "Today it sure as hell is!!" I found it very difficut to maintain a leval working platform with my legs.Seemed like every time i got into a level position to work, one or sometimes both legs would kinda 'deflate" or fail.Good thing chain saw use was at a minimum. And of course the fatigue from hell i was fighting through was kickn my ass like Forest Griffin. The harder i fought the fatige would bust out some Ju-jit-su and make my efforts all for not. It was early fall so temps were making there final seasonal decent, yet it felt as if it were the dead of summer. Somehow i hit the earth before Duane. Had a couple of Boros. I just could not disasociate the pain of the glowing orange hot "shard of steel" i visualized up my ass, that was now morphing into a orange hot ballon. I hurt so bad, crying an option but out of the question. It really felt like i had to piss fire as well! Agian a "measley squirt o piss...What in the hell?" Ziped er up and sat back down. My mind now reaching for the "Banyo incedent in Boise" "Dear loard baby Jesus, please dont let me shit myself here on this job...or ever agian!..please? So i began to help drag brush and clean up, thats when Alex piped up. "Duuuuuude Chris are you alright man!?" "Im just super tierd man."" Dude your walkin like you've been breakkkin broncos your ewhole life"" Al, thats how i feel and i dont even ride fuckn bulls..." Haunched over against a fence now. I could hardly even coil up my Poison Ivy. "Tell ya what dude, you stay and chip and we'll make the drag,cool?" All i could do is node my head asif in defeat. "You were in the air all day, we'll get it duuuuuude." Whith his San Luis fashon and grin. Man i must look like a seriously hurtin unit if Al's tellin me to hang back. Al like most of us had drive, sometimes analy so. "Hoo-Ra" Is all i could think of to mutter. Ok so I confess im a SEAL wanna-be, never was but Man! the choises i could have made in my life. As we began the final clen up Al was ready to pay up. "Al I'll take half my rate i only gave half my normal production." "You sure man??" "Yeah man, thats fair isnt it?" "Totally" And with that i took Duane and my sorry ass to Tony's for a "Turkey Tony's to cheep for Knob or makers." "Thats Lame" "Yeah...................lame."
Finely Horney" as Elliot had stated and I were able to schedual an appointment to meet at the top of "Fucken Lambs Canyon, Man! The price of disel i better land this fish." This would be another "prize jewel" of a job being on the edge of National Forest and the fall colors were making there apperence. There was nothing like being up in the air, enveloped, in a sea of different colored aspen clones. Remembering my days on the Wasatch Helitack/Rappelers and flying all over the Wasatch Cache and Uinta National Forests. Being so fortunate with that carrier also came a grip of fringe bennifits. Flying fire in that sea of colors was one of them. Then there was my rock climbing days that ceast due to my profestional tree climbing carrier. As far back as i can remember being in the colors and elements really got me off.
Finely Horney" as Elliot had stated and I were able to schedual an appointment to meet at the top of "Fucken Lambs Canyon, Man! The price of disel i better land this fish." This would be another "prize jewel" of a job being on the edge of National Forest and the fall colors were making there apperence. There was nothing like being up in the air, enveloped, in a sea of different colored aspen clones. Remembering my days on the Wasatch Helitack/Rappelers and flying all over the Wasatch Cache and Uinta National Forests. Being so fortunate with that carrier also came a grip of fringe bennifits. Flying fire in that sea of colors was one of them. Then there was my rock climbing days that ceast due to my profestional tree climbing carrier. As far back as i can remember being in the colors and elements really got me off.
Monday, January 30, 2012
I've #5
( In the tune of "Donkey") " On the road agiaaaaaaaaaaaaan!! Are we there yet? Are we there yet?") I had'nt even made it to Twin yet (Falls). The last 3 days, seemed like "The Master Cheif" was puting my resolve and determination to the test. Every time i was able to negotiate an obstical, sometimes i was able to enjoy,the light on the otherside, it would be short lived with an even gnarlyer obstical (tree) right behind it. That was a perspective. The reality was. I WAS SICK. Whith what it really did'nt matter. OBVIOUSLY i needed some serious Medical intervention. Ahh, but There in lye's the problem. I was pretty sure what ever was wrong with me, was going to require more than the usual 48 hour mirical cure." Neuroligist?!" For all i knew that ment "open brain surgery! (I watch House!) Then i thought about them (Doctors) zapin parts of my brain while i was awake. "I'll bet they could makie me do some funny as hell shit!" Heh! "Like make ya scratch yer nuts right in front of them. Doctor: see, this is the part of the brain that makes you aware you have a parasite. Hmm lets see mmmm yaaa...see how your scratchn your testicals there? Im tellin your brain that you have crabs. And some funny shit." Humor is how i deal with an awray of emotion's. I used to get myself smacked by my parents when i would totaly crack up when my little sisters took serious tumbles or do some stupid shit.. I can remember as far back as 5 seing my 2 year old sister tumble down the stairs. "Thats how Humpy Dumpty looked i'll bet!!" And begin to gigel. That was just automatic. Then i would react like a big brother supposed to. Since then my since of humor, or i have been called " incensitive, morbid, disrespectful, evil, asshole, killer, awsome" to list a few. I prefer the term "Dry". The situation at hand, was winter was almost here. I figured around 7 grand would sustain my family and business by the time the snow flew, bottom line. I only had 4. Then there was the whole should i be hospitalized for to long i would not be able to afford to insure my family. The list went on and on. If i could just make it happen till the flakes came down, i would have steaks in the freezer and all winter to mess with the Doctor. While working in Boise this time, a thought that really had me by the short hairs ever since i realized. I am totaly 100% a red flag, a situation that screamed look out! It was one thing for me to risk my dumb ass. But to knowingly put those working with me at risk?!! I was breaking my own rules. Me, Mr Safety Chairman, Mr safty, safty safty!! I learnd with the carrier choises i had made that my jobs #1 priority: To make it home safely at night. Did it not, then that ment i fucked up BAD. Me being the HNIC on my jobs, was now knowingly putting everyone at risk. And that is called gross negligents. I could,nt live with killin anyone while i was at the helm. But i also would not live with My family in a shelter of anykind. We had come up the hard way and lived in some real shitholes. Damn near orphans at times Never agian. "Savvey!!!" My mind had begun a behavior a little while back of doing a "Systems check" Sortta like "Norton" does for virus. Seemed like i would run "Norton" as soon as i awoke every morning and then in like 20 second intervols, there would be a couple of new viruses found. A new one found, was when i woke up to it feeling like i was sleeping in sand. I showered the night before. You can understand my alarm. That was sleepn in BVD's, what really sucked was when i put on some clean Arborwears. As if there wernt gona to be anythig new!, it felt like i jumped into some drawers loaded with saw dust. That makes for a lousy ride. Another thing that really sucks is being totaly unable to feel the gas or brake pedals with the bottom of my foot any longer. What tells me that i even have my foot on eather is the feedback my knee sometimes all the way bak to the hip hip picks up. At times my foot fails to make the transistion from gas to brake and visa versa that results in some close calls and some choice words. Well, there was choice words the whole way back. Everything about that drive was misery. I simply could not get home fast enough. The Trackter i was towing saw to that in more than the obvious way. Somewhere just pst Tremonten a Simi trailer about drove up my ass all "Rusty Nail" like. "Candy Caine!?" i said as i saw his signal to pull over. Reluctantly i did so, when we stoped i watched as the driver jumped down from the cab.
After driving to the next exit and turing around. I needed back to the other side of Tremonten. One of the loading ramps had fallen of the back of the trailer and hit a car "She was probibly doin about 70 75?" thats what the Simi guy told me. I finaly found the gas station she was at. The ramp, i dont know how it did'nt kill her. The whole right side of the car was distroyed and her windshild sufferd the same. Her plates sayed British Columbia and apperently they enjoy traveling in spandex short shorts and tanktops up there. Yeah! This delayed mte another 3 hours, visualy pleasantly. What really was getting to me was. A 80lb hunk of steel came off my rig and i with my ninja trained prowes did not see this happen i did'nt feelanything eather. Then there was the fact that a car (with a super hotie) came racen up on me and about got killed at the sametime! And i did not pick up on 1 scrap of it. Another situation that screamed Look out!
While in Boise, Elliot a friend of mine called "Hey little heebs, a good friend of mine has a big ol tree hangin like over his house. It's like ready to fall on his place any day now. You need to call this guy. The propertys at the top of Lambs canyon." The property was a family property so the job would pay well. It was it the woods so it would undboutably be a cut and leave. "Lambs? I'll bet it's a sub alpine fur. Thats really all there is besides aspen. The mans not gonna call for an aspen. It was another leed to go after. Alex from Tree Love called and he had a big ol Ash tree that needed surger m,...............................................................................................................................,y he could use both Duane and i on. There was still nuts to be gathered before the big sno w
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After driving to the next exit and turing around. I needed back to the other side of Tremonten. One of the loading ramps had fallen of the back of the trailer and hit a car "She was probibly doin about 70 75?" thats what the Simi guy told me. I finaly found the gas station she was at. The ramp, i dont know how it did'nt kill her. The whole right side of the car was distroyed and her windshild sufferd the same. Her plates sayed British Columbia and apperently they enjoy traveling in spandex short shorts and tanktops up there. Yeah! This delayed mte another 3 hours, visualy pleasantly. What really was getting to me was. A 80lb hunk of steel came off my rig and i with my ninja trained prowes did not see this happen i did'nt feelanything eather. Then there was the fact that a car (with a super hotie) came racen up on me and about got killed at the sametime! And i did not pick up on 1 scrap of it. Another situation that screamed Look out!
While in Boise, Elliot a friend of mine called "Hey little heebs, a good friend of mine has a big ol tree hangin like over his house. It's like ready to fall on his place any day now. You need to call this guy. The propertys at the top of Lambs canyon." The property was a family property so the job would pay well. It was it the woods so it would undboutably be a cut and leave. "Lambs? I'll bet it's a sub alpine fur. Thats really all there is besides aspen. The mans not gonna call for an aspen. It was another leed to go after. Alex from Tree Love called and he had a big ol Ash tree that needed surger m,...............................................................................................................................,y he could use both Duane and i on. There was still nuts to be gathered before the big sno w
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Sunday, January 22, 2012
I've #4
You would have thought i was on a redeye flight, there was only a handfull of folks were joining me today.. "god this is great." There was noone seated in a very co0mfortable perimeter. If i should suffer another undetechtable sizemic event, somehow this large space between them and i, i thought of as a contingency line. Heh! Who knows better? I suppose it was a way of putting my mind at ease. To let some of the extra clinched butt cheek energy to let its guard down. And that is a ton of energy. Everyone has been through ths "shard" senario. "But to not feel anything, to just have turds fall unanounced." That coupled with my toe's, feet,legs,nuts, unit! "Now rectal issue,s! Fuck!! The small little burning pain, the one that showed up for the banyo party! It never went away, to my dismay it incresed and man,did it burn. It kinda felt like a red hot shard of steel had been shoved up my yin-yang..To be honest, that particular pain was way more familiar, more familiar than i even wanted to remember. Much less share with anyone. Another odd phenominon In the life of Chris Reid. When i was around 27, i began to get these rectal pains. They would last 2-3 weeks and they HURT LIKE HELL. At first all i could think was "Dude, do you have fuck hemroids!? No way! No way man!" I knew it was somethig more when i began to eat Advil like gummy bears for days! then weeks,and finely months before i could get the pain to stay away. And yes i did my share of ripping of Hemroid CREAM, OINTMENTS, Heh!! I even ripped off some of my mom's hidden stash of suppository's. Talk about some embarasing shit! And none of it did anything except make me feel like i had been camping with a gay guy. So from 27 on, i would get these serious pains. accompanyed by some serious fatigue, about every year and half ta two years. The pain was sometimes crippeling. I remember thinking to myself one day "So this is how death begins". The shower no the tub is really all i wanted to think about. Although i was wondering how Duane and the job at the"Lovie" property was comming along. Then i thought about JD and his job in Sugarhouse. All i can do is see what tomarrow brings.
When i finely made it home, i did find my tub and it seemd to make me feel worse. Super weak and light headed. Had some chow and went to "awake"
"Boise want's you back. They sold another big one after you left yesterday. They called last night" "Holy shit!" poped into my head all sorts of loud, i had to spit it out to sound like the plesantly supprised holyshit, not the dreadful almost pissed holyshit that wanted to roll out. This was part of my dream. "I sure hope Tony aint thinking im flying outa here tomarrow." "No, Toby wants you to drive up there on monday. Boise's giving us the Kabota, we need you to haul it back with ya. Fuckn Dave! He's probibly the best Sup they've ever had in Salt Lake. He's got this uncanney ability to answer a question super fast in almost insulting fashion, were it not for his super mellow demenor and ability to finish with a warm grin. Youd never have known he told you to blow yourself. "Toby? Now thats a first." I was accustomed to having travel request's roll through the corporite and branch Mgr channels. "Wow Dave, if travel can go through the Supervisors now and you can procure tickets yourself....Fuck this Boise shit! let's go to amsterdam!" "Well, with me being married and all, i dont think i can do that right now." "Pilgram" Followed by my little chuckel. Dave also had the John Wane thing going with his speech that i just loved and i could not resist busten his balls about! Like, in my mind i herd Dave say "Well-ahh! I recon were a gonna send ya ta Boi-se PIL-GRAM! Oh-ya yer taken the truck! now get otta-here!" "Does Tony know?" "Well i guess" Wow. Tony had been the original branch Mgr in Salt Lake and had recently been promoted to Corporite Mantenance supervisor. Historicly Tony had to be in on everything, or he just wasnt happy. Being promoted to corporite i imagined would include a higher degree of micro management atleast for awhile. And not being in the loop of my port to port status...feathers would probibly be ruffeled. Not my problem. "K, so monday im otta here agian. So what do we got goin on for the rest of the week?"
I had managed to procure thursday and friday formy business. As much as i my body was lobbying for a"a reduction in forces" My mind wasnt having it. No, the Wasatch Urban "colors needed to fly". And the job we were doin was for a gentelman who lived approx 2 blocks from Alex, another brother, the "cassa-nova" California kid from "San-Louis-Obisbo duuuuuude!!" Al and i had been friends ever since we worked together at Solitude then "Ski" resort. Al was also a very seasoned Fire Fighter. At one point in his carrier he was a crew member on the legendary Los Padres Hotshots. Did some search and rescue on a ship (Helicopter) in Yosimite and amongst a slew of orther things, a really well rounded Arborist. Who i have not included on this job due to cut backs. (At one point i was going to ask for my chunk of the bail out money) So presently im on his "pissin grounds" and hoping like hell he does'nt bust me. And, as fate would always, have it. As Duane was getting in position to back me up "Son of a bitch!!" He was out on his morning rollerblade, in some super wild shorts. "AL !! " I had a little splaining to-do. Agian the work we were doing for NamVet Dave (the gunny) , was'nt "major" but it all required climbing. Truth be known, i had the agility of a tree sloth, just slow slow slow slow. While doing some surgery in the globe willow, in the backyard i almost blew out my right knee NFL style. My lower right leg got caught in the crotch of two large limbs in the upright angle, at the same time the other muscles i was using just...quit. My body was hanging at the end of a rope on it's own angle. I do use a flip line, but in canopy trees i use it loosely, to alow more movement. So when my muscles quit, my body wanted to swing back to 0. The knee's a hinge joint and my lower leg's the "door". My door about came unhinged!! Once agian i had luck on my side, I was able to somewhat catch myself with my upper extremity's. Still i fel what started out as pressure. Then i saw my leg begin to bend lateraly. I felt and herd a pop. Then the dull pressure quickley turned to tearing/ripping in the whole joint. "Oww!! Fuck!!""Shit Chris are you ok!?" Came from the ground. "Yeah"Be aware of falling turds Duane!! Bounced around in my head a little.. It hurt, BAD! I just faught through it as best as i could. When i finley hit the earth, if you did'nt recognize my distresed walk at the beginning of the day, you sure could'nt mistake it now. . Now along with every thing that has happend in the last 48 hours "I can add blown out knee to the list!" I hobbeled around for the rest of theday in total misery. When the dusk came upon us and Duane and i, er, Duane! was down to the nitty gritty on clean up. The Gunny and his wife came out to the picknik table with a FULL bottle of crown and 4 FULL glasses. Ohhh maaan! I hate the after taste of that Canook shit. "Ok, one or two" The fames lastwords. Two...BOTTLEs! a pack of boro's, getting paid a tour through the Viet Nam musium watching The Gunny get defiant with his squeeze and accusing Duane and i of secretly being "Charlee" It was time to get the fuck otta there before we had a real life "Privite Pile" situation on our hands. Daves wife concured "Yeah guys you should probibly go now, he gets like this" "MaMa did'nt raise no fool!! gotta tell me twice shiiiiiiiit!!" After staggering to the "Hurse" with an illegal as hell trailer, no plates, no registration, no working trailer lights, wasted! And as usual somehow made it home.
The remainder of the weekend was a series of little jobs and instructions to Duane. " If you want hours thereis always Lovie's! "Looviee! Would you pleazze touchh my ballzz!" Laughter.
I was to leave for Boise Sunday afternoon. For any one driving to Boise through south eastern Idaho.. It sucks. Its not like I-80 through Nevada or anything. It just sucks. This drive included a serious amout of tobacco and thoughts, emotions, feeling of no self worth, pain ultimately FEAR. All of which i compartmentalized. Keeping the moral positive. Or as possitive as i could. Or atleast thats what i had been told "Reid, thats why people enjoy working with you so much and your jobs move so quickly and efftishenty. You dont yell and screem at your helpers. Even when things are goin to shit! Your crack'n jokes." Damn right,! Leed by example. That's not to say i did'nt have a "Mr Grumpy Gill's" to me. Everyone also knew that there was a Grizzly that lived inside but was rarely ever seen. Atleast at work. Personal life was a whole different story. Buy the time i made it to Boise i had been throughaly overcome with pent up greif and emotion to the point of tears many times over. I always bring tunes with me to smoke my Boros to. I have the tryed and tested absolute fave's at all times. One of those is the live album "Light fuse get away" disc or set #1 For those not familer, it's a Panic album that has Miky! workin his magic up and down the fret board. Anywhore, this album was a super comfort to me, in times of angst. When i finely pulled down that Eagle/McCall exit i was ready for a beer. Stoped at the Chevron for a sixer of kookanee. I drank 1/2 of a beer and could feel pain. So this time i stoped. This time.
The ride to work and the drive to the job was a little nerve racking as there were no results in the banyo this morning. And so began my new affection for the banyo! When i got to the yard, banyo! first thing. Nothing. 10 minutes later. Nothing! "fuck" The drive to the job included 1 stop at the gas station.For the banyo! Nothing! I was driving myself nutty! When we arived at the property. I was totaly having a hell of a time staying focused on our objective, which today were some fair sized American Elm trees on a property line. They were to the point of some serious overhang on the home owners home and some serious top heavy lean on the neibors garage and ornamental garden. I was here to go treage the seriousness of the over hanging leeds and mitigate accordingly and of course any deadwood i could see. "Looks like about threes days of work." I was conversing with Jarod Boise's climber "Really. It was bid for five." "No shit!?" It was about 2 grand on the over side. "Well, i guess that about covers expectations." Agian i was'nt under the gun. Thank god! When i finely got up in the crown, got myself rigged in and was ready to chase down my first leed. The issue was a little worse than any of us could see from the ground. There were fair sized limbs in all of them, that had broken,due to weight stress. Unlike theyre Siberian cousins, these trees had began to heal themselvs. You could see where all the stress fractures had began to cavrenize and calus over. No pests to speek of, except yer typicl sap sucker "tatoos." Except for the fractures, all sign's were pointing to some pretty healthy trees. I, on the otherhand was not. The first day, suprisingly, was'nt to bad. Day 2 not so good. I gained yet a new symptom. Today it felt like i had to take a leek, like every hour or so. So i would stop everything,swing back into the trunk of the tree, undo my harness, unzip my fly and whip er out. All that for a damn dribble! all day long. We were all loaded up ready to take it to the yard, when Toby asks us 2 do some emergency work. This was not a welcome invatation in my book. My attitude was slowly changing. Day 3, complete and utter exaustion. This banyo dance i was doing was driving me to the point of needing a paded room. At lunch time i was explaining to Jarod SOME of what i was going through and he suggested seeing a Neurologist. "I recon i should." But not yet.
When i finely made it home, i did find my tub and it seemd to make me feel worse. Super weak and light headed. Had some chow and went to "awake"
"Boise want's you back. They sold another big one after you left yesterday. They called last night" "Holy shit!" poped into my head all sorts of loud, i had to spit it out to sound like the plesantly supprised holyshit, not the dreadful almost pissed holyshit that wanted to roll out. This was part of my dream. "I sure hope Tony aint thinking im flying outa here tomarrow." "No, Toby wants you to drive up there on monday. Boise's giving us the Kabota, we need you to haul it back with ya. Fuckn Dave! He's probibly the best Sup they've ever had in Salt Lake. He's got this uncanney ability to answer a question super fast in almost insulting fashion, were it not for his super mellow demenor and ability to finish with a warm grin. Youd never have known he told you to blow yourself. "Toby? Now thats a first." I was accustomed to having travel request's roll through the corporite and branch Mgr channels. "Wow Dave, if travel can go through the Supervisors now and you can procure tickets yourself....Fuck this Boise shit! let's go to amsterdam!" "Well, with me being married and all, i dont think i can do that right now." "Pilgram" Followed by my little chuckel. Dave also had the John Wane thing going with his speech that i just loved and i could not resist busten his balls about! Like, in my mind i herd Dave say "Well-ahh! I recon were a gonna send ya ta Boi-se PIL-GRAM! Oh-ya yer taken the truck! now get otta-here!" "Does Tony know?" "Well i guess" Wow. Tony had been the original branch Mgr in Salt Lake and had recently been promoted to Corporite Mantenance supervisor. Historicly Tony had to be in on everything, or he just wasnt happy. Being promoted to corporite i imagined would include a higher degree of micro management atleast for awhile. And not being in the loop of my port to port status...feathers would probibly be ruffeled. Not my problem. "K, so monday im otta here agian. So what do we got goin on for the rest of the week?"
I had managed to procure thursday and friday formy business. As much as i my body was lobbying for a"a reduction in forces" My mind wasnt having it. No, the Wasatch Urban "colors needed to fly". And the job we were doin was for a gentelman who lived approx 2 blocks from Alex, another brother, the "cassa-nova" California kid from "San-Louis-Obisbo duuuuuude!!" Al and i had been friends ever since we worked together at Solitude then "Ski" resort. Al was also a very seasoned Fire Fighter. At one point in his carrier he was a crew member on the legendary Los Padres Hotshots. Did some search and rescue on a ship (Helicopter) in Yosimite and amongst a slew of orther things, a really well rounded Arborist. Who i have not included on this job due to cut backs. (At one point i was going to ask for my chunk of the bail out money) So presently im on his "pissin grounds" and hoping like hell he does'nt bust me. And, as fate would always, have it. As Duane was getting in position to back me up "Son of a bitch!!" He was out on his morning rollerblade, in some super wild shorts. "AL !! " I had a little splaining to-do. Agian the work we were doing for NamVet Dave (the gunny) , was'nt "major" but it all required climbing. Truth be known, i had the agility of a tree sloth, just slow slow slow slow. While doing some surgery in the globe willow, in the backyard i almost blew out my right knee NFL style. My lower right leg got caught in the crotch of two large limbs in the upright angle, at the same time the other muscles i was using just...quit. My body was hanging at the end of a rope on it's own angle. I do use a flip line, but in canopy trees i use it loosely, to alow more movement. So when my muscles quit, my body wanted to swing back to 0. The knee's a hinge joint and my lower leg's the "door". My door about came unhinged!! Once agian i had luck on my side, I was able to somewhat catch myself with my upper extremity's. Still i fel what started out as pressure. Then i saw my leg begin to bend lateraly. I felt and herd a pop. Then the dull pressure quickley turned to tearing/ripping in the whole joint. "Oww!! Fuck!!""Shit Chris are you ok!?" Came from the ground. "Yeah"Be aware of falling turds Duane!! Bounced around in my head a little.. It hurt, BAD! I just faught through it as best as i could. When i finley hit the earth, if you did'nt recognize my distresed walk at the beginning of the day, you sure could'nt mistake it now. . Now along with every thing that has happend in the last 48 hours "I can add blown out knee to the list!" I hobbeled around for the rest of theday in total misery. When the dusk came upon us and Duane and i, er, Duane! was down to the nitty gritty on clean up. The Gunny and his wife came out to the picknik table with a FULL bottle of crown and 4 FULL glasses. Ohhh maaan! I hate the after taste of that Canook shit. "Ok, one or two" The fames lastwords. Two...BOTTLEs! a pack of boro's, getting paid a tour through the Viet Nam musium watching The Gunny get defiant with his squeeze and accusing Duane and i of secretly being "Charlee" It was time to get the fuck otta there before we had a real life "Privite Pile" situation on our hands. Daves wife concured "Yeah guys you should probibly go now, he gets like this" "MaMa did'nt raise no fool!! gotta tell me twice shiiiiiiiit!!" After staggering to the "Hurse" with an illegal as hell trailer, no plates, no registration, no working trailer lights, wasted! And as usual somehow made it home.
The remainder of the weekend was a series of little jobs and instructions to Duane. " If you want hours thereis always Lovie's! "Looviee! Would you pleazze touchh my ballzz!" Laughter.
I was to leave for Boise Sunday afternoon. For any one driving to Boise through south eastern Idaho.. It sucks. Its not like I-80 through Nevada or anything. It just sucks. This drive included a serious amout of tobacco and thoughts, emotions, feeling of no self worth, pain ultimately FEAR. All of which i compartmentalized. Keeping the moral positive. Or as possitive as i could. Or atleast thats what i had been told "Reid, thats why people enjoy working with you so much and your jobs move so quickly and efftishenty. You dont yell and screem at your helpers. Even when things are goin to shit! Your crack'n jokes." Damn right,! Leed by example. That's not to say i did'nt have a "Mr Grumpy Gill's" to me. Everyone also knew that there was a Grizzly that lived inside but was rarely ever seen. Atleast at work. Personal life was a whole different story. Buy the time i made it to Boise i had been throughaly overcome with pent up greif and emotion to the point of tears many times over. I always bring tunes with me to smoke my Boros to. I have the tryed and tested absolute fave's at all times. One of those is the live album "Light fuse get away" disc or set #1 For those not familer, it's a Panic album that has Miky! workin his magic up and down the fret board. Anywhore, this album was a super comfort to me, in times of angst. When i finely pulled down that Eagle/McCall exit i was ready for a beer. Stoped at the Chevron for a sixer of kookanee. I drank 1/2 of a beer and could feel pain. So this time i stoped. This time.
The ride to work and the drive to the job was a little nerve racking as there were no results in the banyo this morning. And so began my new affection for the banyo! When i got to the yard, banyo! first thing. Nothing. 10 minutes later. Nothing! "fuck" The drive to the job included 1 stop at the gas station.For the banyo! Nothing! I was driving myself nutty! When we arived at the property. I was totaly having a hell of a time staying focused on our objective, which today were some fair sized American Elm trees on a property line. They were to the point of some serious overhang on the home owners home and some serious top heavy lean on the neibors garage and ornamental garden. I was here to go treage the seriousness of the over hanging leeds and mitigate accordingly and of course any deadwood i could see. "Looks like about threes days of work." I was conversing with Jarod Boise's climber "Really. It was bid for five." "No shit!?" It was about 2 grand on the over side. "Well, i guess that about covers expectations." Agian i was'nt under the gun. Thank god! When i finely got up in the crown, got myself rigged in and was ready to chase down my first leed. The issue was a little worse than any of us could see from the ground. There were fair sized limbs in all of them, that had broken,due to weight stress. Unlike theyre Siberian cousins, these trees had began to heal themselvs. You could see where all the stress fractures had began to cavrenize and calus over. No pests to speek of, except yer typicl sap sucker "tatoos." Except for the fractures, all sign's were pointing to some pretty healthy trees. I, on the otherhand was not. The first day, suprisingly, was'nt to bad. Day 2 not so good. I gained yet a new symptom. Today it felt like i had to take a leek, like every hour or so. So i would stop everything,swing back into the trunk of the tree, undo my harness, unzip my fly and whip er out. All that for a damn dribble! all day long. We were all loaded up ready to take it to the yard, when Toby asks us 2 do some emergency work. This was not a welcome invatation in my book. My attitude was slowly changing. Day 3, complete and utter exaustion. This banyo dance i was doing was driving me to the point of needing a paded room. At lunch time i was explaining to Jarod SOME of what i was going through and he suggested seeing a Neurologist. "I recon i should." But not yet.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
I've #3
Really, as of two or three weeks ago, alarms and buzzers were just not needed. Wake up calls were no different. At this point it would take obseen amounts of booze and now I had began to prescribe pain killers to my self in my own "Dr House" fashon. But I just did'nt drink near enough, nor did I have any pills. So on and off, on and off the tv went, I floped around like a fish out a water all night long. So when i got my wake upcall, it's effect did nothing but elevate my blood pressure even more than it's current state. Getting ready for the day was begining to take longer. Getting dressed took a little more time, particularly getting my pants on. "Times like theseeeeeeeeeeeee, i wish i were the tin man!" My knees felt as though they were slowly ceasing up due to ...rust? "Wish i had one of those nifty little oil cans like Dorthy used in the Wizarard of oz. "God , i wish it was that simple". I fought my pants on and put on some coffee. While that was running i watched a little news and put on my LaSpoteva's and socks. Getting the socks on was kinda strange but it was the tieing up my boots that was a little more difficult. My fingers were starting to feel as my feet did when all this shit began to violate me. This was to be forgoten as i finished up my last boot and poured myself some of that floor dust called coffee..I've had worse. I draw the line at sanka, i cant beleve people keep that company in business. Drinking the night before all but insured my demise for the day. I made my way to the lobby and was about to walk out the door. When suddenly the "urge" along with a new strange yet familar little burning pain came upon me. So back up to my room it was. I got to the banyo, droped trou and on the thown I sat. For awhile, no results, o but then i began to pee. The urge just disapered, waited a bit longer, did the usual clen up and check. The business end of me was ready to depart the throne. Stood up went for my drawers and thats when it began. Fecal matter just began to fall out of me. Total shock and disbeleaf over took me all at once. My instinct's told my body to "Sit the fuck down!!!" and my body was atempting to comply. My eyes on the other hand were sending a whole differnt message. The visual my eyes had was fecal matter on the toilet seat and floor. To late! We were commited to the sit comand, there was a slight change in trajectory. But im not sure it was for any "gain" as the net result was me sitting and feet deep in shit. "What the fuck!!" as if to let the whole world know that i had just sat in shit. So i sat there, trying to pice together How in the word had that just happend, and waiting for another eruption to NO avail. So i gave the proverbeal push. Nothing, so i pushed like Elvis. Nothing. It was time to do the clen up. So i went for some paper and as soon as i began clen up on my underside, the eruption began agian. Nastyness was on my fingers now! A new wave of shock and fear exploded inside of me. My eyes began to well up. There i sat on the throne, feet,ass, fingers covered in and sitting in shit! I began to just cry. After a couple of minutes of pitty time i striped down and jumped in the shower. "What a fucking mess!" amongst all kinds of other colorfull things. After the shower and some new cloths 2 or 3 towels and all the toilet paper the bathroom had, things were cleaned up enough for me to go. I was 45 min late. Like my bro Levi said "Chris, you anit late till ya get there. Now smoke this!"
And i did, like a chiped Cummins, with no reguard for the environment. Somehow i managed to light up a second before i pulled into the yard. I kept stairing at the fingers that no0t less than 10 minutes ago were caked in feces!, and were now holding the Marlboro that was being put into my mouth. "Well.....i hope i got the shit out from underneth my fingernails!" Speeking aloud. A thought that would remain with me the rest of the day in everything i did and everything i touched touched anything. I would just chuckel to myself (I sure as hell could'nt cry) Just to repaet myself, the smoke was taking life from me with every puff. I could feel it> Especialy in (wanna guess) feet and legs. It was how i coped with stress, driving, waiting, chilling, partying basicly living. But the stress, the stress and booze were the champs at enabling the Marlboro spirits to work there "medicine." Tom the Branch manager was just getting to the yard when i did."I'm running behind this morning too." Oh!, did you shit all over your bathroom too Tom?!!! I was so tempted to blurt it out, due to the strait jacket frame of mind i was in "Hey Tom. I forgot to have my room rung this morning! sorry bout that." The lie. "Hey......it happens. The main thing is, were here. Right?" Dude, you did,nt get pooh on your fingers! He had that forgiving grin. Awsome, i was being seen coming into work late and laughing it up with the branch manager. All i was really concerned with now, was having shit, just fall outa me.
The job we were to do today was another suburb job. The really neat thing about Boise is, the early settlers realy put some thought into the hard woods they planted. There are just some awsome and well maintained White and Red `Oaks And Amerecan Elm trees (name a very few) The work was much more substantial. Damn Siberein Elm tree had been alowed to grow! as usual, huge in a small backyard, and all ape shit over three different homes. If people would just understand, that these trees are not native and that they are a true NIGHTMARE to a home owner. Kinda like morning glory, the roots gnarly structure is a mirror of the top side, only three times as big that have a tenancy to, throw suckers or starter shoots up anywhere and everywhere. Bust up your fences, sidewalks your homes foundation. Jack up your water, sewer and gas lines. Above the surface, they grow fast and get big. Then after they have been alowed to grow bigger than Jesus, they begin to "shed" large amounts of weight byway of simple failer and bust. Sometimes these broken limbs dont fall right away and get hung up. When this happens we call this a "widow maker" and one tree can have many of them in em. Alot of the time the widow maker cant be seen until the tree has lost its leafs. Then there is the reproductive side. These trees spread so much seed! It's sick! Any way, people could save some serious coin if they would just do some mitigation in the early stages i.e... pull your friggin weeds!!! But imf just sayin. These trees make me and others just like me butt loads of cash. So yeah this was a project tree. I really enjoy the heavy rigging and forthought that comes along with these type's of large scale puzzel trees. This tree took all day. It wasnt all unusualy tough but it wasnt really the heavy rigging of giant "leeds" over the structures that hurt all that much. It was chasein down the 6 or 7 widow makers that were up there. We were solucky Toby was able to help out for awhile. He also hooked us up with some lunch. He had to split but not to worry, Tom, was en route. When he arrived apparantly i needed his advice...which made absolutely no sence. "Ya Tom i thought about that. It just wont work. But this will, wanna move?" "Ya but.." Too late i cut it, he had to move now. After that he left me alone. Did very little to help and just did that important guy fold my arms and watch. I really havea distaste for these kinds of.....people. Should just stay in the office. Dont come this way Tom, doo-doo might just fall on you. After about an hour Tom jut split. Polo shirt, dockers and all. It was when we were doing clean up that i found out that we charged those people 4 grand for the work we did."Your not serious!?" I could not beleve shit did'nt fall out of me The day winding down included a ride to the Boise Airport. Once agian those TSA guys, after that I could be found at (where else) the bar! Where a stella costs 9 bucks and a shoot will only cost 4 bucks if ordered with a beer. There is just no way for me to unwind!
And i did, like a chiped Cummins, with no reguard for the environment. Somehow i managed to light up a second before i pulled into the yard. I kept stairing at the fingers that no0t less than 10 minutes ago were caked in feces!, and were now holding the Marlboro that was being put into my mouth. "Well.....i hope i got the shit out from underneth my fingernails!" Speeking aloud. A thought that would remain with me the rest of the day in everything i did and everything i touched touched anything. I would just chuckel to myself (I sure as hell could'nt cry) Just to repaet myself, the smoke was taking life from me with every puff. I could feel it> Especialy in (wanna guess) feet and legs. It was how i coped with stress, driving, waiting, chilling, partying basicly living. But the stress, the stress and booze were the champs at enabling the Marlboro spirits to work there "medicine." Tom the Branch manager was just getting to the yard when i did."I'm running behind this morning too." Oh!, did you shit all over your bathroom too Tom?!!! I was so tempted to blurt it out, due to the strait jacket frame of mind i was in "Hey Tom. I forgot to have my room rung this morning! sorry bout that." The lie. "Hey......it happens. The main thing is, were here. Right?" Dude, you did,nt get pooh on your fingers! He had that forgiving grin. Awsome, i was being seen coming into work late and laughing it up with the branch manager. All i was really concerned with now, was having shit, just fall outa me.
The job we were to do today was another suburb job. The really neat thing about Boise is, the early settlers realy put some thought into the hard woods they planted. There are just some awsome and well maintained White and Red `Oaks And Amerecan Elm trees (name a very few) The work was much more substantial. Damn Siberein Elm tree had been alowed to grow! as usual, huge in a small backyard, and all ape shit over three different homes. If people would just understand, that these trees are not native and that they are a true NIGHTMARE to a home owner. Kinda like morning glory, the roots gnarly structure is a mirror of the top side, only three times as big that have a tenancy to, throw suckers or starter shoots up anywhere and everywhere. Bust up your fences, sidewalks your homes foundation. Jack up your water, sewer and gas lines. Above the surface, they grow fast and get big. Then after they have been alowed to grow bigger than Jesus, they begin to "shed" large amounts of weight byway of simple failer and bust. Sometimes these broken limbs dont fall right away and get hung up. When this happens we call this a "widow maker" and one tree can have many of them in em. Alot of the time the widow maker cant be seen until the tree has lost its leafs. Then there is the reproductive side. These trees spread so much seed! It's sick! Any way, people could save some serious coin if they would just do some mitigation in the early stages i.e... pull your friggin weeds!!! But imf just sayin. These trees make me and others just like me butt loads of cash. So yeah this was a project tree. I really enjoy the heavy rigging and forthought that comes along with these type's of large scale puzzel trees. This tree took all day. It wasnt all unusualy tough but it wasnt really the heavy rigging of giant "leeds" over the structures that hurt all that much. It was chasein down the 6 or 7 widow makers that were up there. We were solucky Toby was able to help out for awhile. He also hooked us up with some lunch. He had to split but not to worry, Tom, was en route. When he arrived apparantly i needed his advice...which made absolutely no sence. "Ya Tom i thought about that. It just wont work. But this will, wanna move?" "Ya but.." Too late i cut it, he had to move now. After that he left me alone. Did very little to help and just did that important guy fold my arms and watch. I really havea distaste for these kinds of.....people. Should just stay in the office. Dont come this way Tom, doo-doo might just fall on you. After about an hour Tom jut split. Polo shirt, dockers and all. It was when we were doing clean up that i found out that we charged those people 4 grand for the work we did."Your not serious!?" I could not beleve shit did'nt fall out of me The day winding down included a ride to the Boise Airport. Once agian those TSA guys, after that I could be found at (where else) the bar! Where a stella costs 9 bucks and a shoot will only cost 4 bucks if ordered with a beer. There is just no way for me to unwind!
Friday, January 6, 2012
I've #2
"What huh?" All squinted eyed, the plane was empty, except for cleaning crew. It wasn't like me to black out by 10:00. But I was In the "Business/Pleassure" mode and it WAS Sunday which ment FootBall which menf my Saints and Brees, you know the tune. So it was Knob Creek and Coorse light all afternoon till Jetcity time. I cant recall check-in at all. I usually get the Business fro0m those TSA guys. I suppose If I were them ID have a hard-on for me too,seeing how I look like Tala-Ban. Comeing down the ramp I was spying for a dude, wearing a bunch of $#@$%# shit. And there he was, a bit softer in apperence than I had imagend. Kind of a Clive Owen, Edward Burnsy with a Beetle Baley kind of akwardness in his posture, as it was proven true in most everything he did. Not to give the wrong idea. Aside from the sup's in the Salt lake branch, Toby w3as one of the first sup's in the different branches Ihad been to that did'nt use his position to "sit-back and watch. He was right there "elbows and assholes! right there with you. " Hey Toby!" kinda slurd like. "Hey Chris!" He was a pretty cordual dude. On the way to my VIP suite at the Holladay Inn express "Oh no way. How the hell did Boise get a Buffalo Wildwings befor Salt Lake?" I had been waiting ever so impatiently for BWW to get it's ass to Utah. I figured it mut have hed someting to do wiyh our goofy as hell bullshit liquor laws. The first time Ihad been to a BWW was with Kent one of my brother's. It was in Virginia Beach, and you talkabout some grub that'll make your tail wag! "Yeah it just went up a little while ago. Place is always busy. Is it any good?" Not to quick though. "I cant belive y'all aint been there." He got me to the hotel and showed me where my truck was parked, gave me the key "See ya in the morning" I smoked a few Marlboros, went to my "suite" turnd on some comedy central called in my wake upcalland slipt of to la la land.
Of all the states i've been to, idaho is easealy in my top three of favorets. I've spent a great sum of time in some super remote wilderness areas. The Payett, the Boise, the Sawtooth, the Salmon, McCall, Grangeville up into the pan handle. Just an awsome state, peroid. With awsome beers and liquor laws to boot. However this time my "remote widerness areas" were located on a grid of streets all the way from the Historic districts and the "J R Ewing looking lay outs in the farming areas to your typical suburbs. Now, the reason I was brought up here was for some hazard tree removal. The first job was removing two paper bark Birtch trees. They had to be climed,rigged and drug out from the backyard. The trees wernt difficut per say,the fact of the matter was, I was in trouble. They took all damn day and they wore me down for the remaineder of my trip. I was able to charge my cells with that little bit of down time over the weekend. But my bunneys drum was now a mild "Thud". My legs were...were just...Fcked up BAD! Felt like i was luggen a 50 Lb ball with me, not just everywhere, but with every motion i made. When the climbig, rigging and cutting were done, there was still alot of rounds to be hauled, debres to rake pavement and porches to blow off. Seemed like we were never gonna get out a there. Usually It's me being the clean-up over acheever, tool left behind triple checker. But all I could think about doing was finding a grave to burry myself in. Getting off the clock was so on my mind but that just wernt gonna happen, WE STILL HAD TO DUMP. On the way back to the shop "Oh hell ya!" Somehow the sight of that big'ol yellow sign with the winged buffalo put a grin on this kids face. "Buy you guys a beer!?" They both declined. One was doing the steps and the other one was a minor. "Thats cool." Hey man, if you ever feel like falling off the waggon, Wild Wings is a hell of a place to do it at!" I asked the supervisors if I could buy them a beer and they all declined. "Y'all got no sence." No less than ten minutes later I was throwin my ass down on a baar stool. Not my Salt lake usual here man,no, Fat Tire on draft and Knob were the flavors of the evening with a garnish of wings. "Oh hell ya!" As I've mentiond before, every drink I took was totaly taking life from me. I knew this. yet "Ignorence is bliss.." as I trew em back and tonight was monday, so I trew em back to my second team on Monday night Football. Fitzgerald had a pretty good game, and I felt pretty "good". Good enough to stop at the Mavrick on my way home for a 6er Fat Tire. Good enoughto thow back 4 of those, in my "suite". My time in hotel rooms has at times included large amounts of drugs and some huge partys but it hasnt ever included pay per view smut or ordering up some trim from every state iv'e been to. Nope , lately it's been some Stabler and Bensen action or comody cental. Although, I must confess, Im curious when Stabler,s gonna finely make Liv submit,like he wants her to, like he knows she wants to, like a mbgood girl should. Like a good girl better!! and. Whoa, Im so busted.
Of all the states i've been to, idaho is easealy in my top three of favorets. I've spent a great sum of time in some super remote wilderness areas. The Payett, the Boise, the Sawtooth, the Salmon, McCall, Grangeville up into the pan handle. Just an awsome state, peroid. With awsome beers and liquor laws to boot. However this time my "remote widerness areas" were located on a grid of streets all the way from the Historic districts and the "J R Ewing looking lay outs in the farming areas to your typical suburbs. Now, the reason I was brought up here was for some hazard tree removal. The first job was removing two paper bark Birtch trees. They had to be climed,rigged and drug out from the backyard. The trees wernt difficut per say,the fact of the matter was, I was in trouble. They took all damn day and they wore me down for the remaineder of my trip. I was able to charge my cells with that little bit of down time over the weekend. But my bunneys drum was now a mild "Thud". My legs were...were just...Fcked up BAD! Felt like i was luggen a 50 Lb ball with me, not just everywhere, but with every motion i made. When the climbig, rigging and cutting were done, there was still alot of rounds to be hauled, debres to rake pavement and porches to blow off. Seemed like we were never gonna get out a there. Usually It's me being the clean-up over acheever, tool left behind triple checker. But all I could think about doing was finding a grave to burry myself in. Getting off the clock was so on my mind but that just wernt gonna happen, WE STILL HAD TO DUMP. On the way back to the shop "Oh hell ya!" Somehow the sight of that big'ol yellow sign with the winged buffalo put a grin on this kids face. "Buy you guys a beer!?" They both declined. One was doing the steps and the other one was a minor. "Thats cool." Hey man, if you ever feel like falling off the waggon, Wild Wings is a hell of a place to do it at!" I asked the supervisors if I could buy them a beer and they all declined. "Y'all got no sence." No less than ten minutes later I was throwin my ass down on a baar stool. Not my Salt lake usual here man,no, Fat Tire on draft and Knob were the flavors of the evening with a garnish of wings. "Oh hell ya!" As I've mentiond before, every drink I took was totaly taking life from me. I knew this. yet "Ignorence is bliss.." as I trew em back and tonight was monday, so I trew em back to my second team on Monday night Football. Fitzgerald had a pretty good game, and I felt pretty "good". Good enough to stop at the Mavrick on my way home for a 6er Fat Tire. Good enoughto thow back 4 of those, in my "suite". My time in hotel rooms has at times included large amounts of drugs and some huge partys but it hasnt ever included pay per view smut or ordering up some trim from every state iv'e been to. Nope , lately it's been some Stabler and Bensen action or comody cental. Although, I must confess, Im curious when Stabler,s gonna finely make Liv submit,like he wants her to, like he knows she wants to, like a mbgood girl should. Like a good girl better!! and. Whoa, Im so busted.
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