I see ;4

People (neabors, friends and family) I assume, were doing things for my family and i. Calling consistantly and comming by to offer a hand , motivation, encouragement. Some realizing the aii encompasing implications, were rounding me up new clients and jobs. I am so still very touched and greatfull.
The things happening to me were so innumerable. All i coud do is concintrate on the "few" that were  imedeate to my most basic functions.
At my 9-5 they had things so fucked up. Being on our third branch manager in six weeks was quite the  hoot. A pool was began on how long the current one would last.
All the discontent had me wanting to walk so bad but stood fast and continued to fight this.."Nothing" that was so intent, it seemed, on tearing apart my existence.
A hugeb problem, with new Management came a new and "better way of  working smarter not harder." Corse the new bosses knew shit about what there job was, so firing and hiring became the consistant way of buisness. This caused all kinds of issues for the Maintence department.
 Paco sent back to cutting grass and i was assigned  a new helper everyday. A new hire, hell, they wernt even Greenhorn,s, they were nohorns! But i tryed to be as positive as i could and "leed by example" even though i just wanted to see the world burn. My example' i dont tnink, was sending a very good message. Try and try i just could not preform the way i had grown accutomed and demanded. Pride was someting i was a fanatic with when it came to completeing a job. Overkill. When i rang the door bell "It was on!" put in a berry blend, and it did'nt stop untill the blowers came out and i was putting an invoice in the hand of my "mark". With help that woun't catch the drift of draging a pile to the chipper, coming from as far as a backyard! With maaaybe 4 sticks in hand was madding!!  Usually causing me to be more aggesive with motivational technique. They could get with the program or take a taxi. Now, i had no choice but to run a "kinder gentler" program. I was'nt about to demand the most out of anyone what with me stagering everywhere and barely able to even stand. Yet these jobs had to be completed. Lets give some of these guys some credit for recognizing my dilema and moving/working the best they knew how. Ofcourse i got a couple of taxi worthy folks, "just grin and be greatful as hell" i would tell myself.
On the other hand deeming my bosses as "completely full of shit and totaly incompitant" worked on my behalf. I would get sent to damn near Idaho " i protested for a job thats "sevenhundred peso's?" Obeying the order i would have normalylobbyed against, impeding my production for two days. Getting there to find out exacly as i suspected "gossly under fuckin bid" . Two days for sevenhundred bucks was just not gonna happen after the first 14 hour day. But that DID make for 8 hoursb of DRIVE time that i wasnt about to lick in the mouth. From that point on, which wasnt very long , i was able to take advantage of the underbid job excuse on particularly labor intensive jobs. Not that there were many of them.
The closer my neurologist appointment got the more anytype of endurance or strenth began to just.....vanish. Unable to gain any or enough sleep.
When i smoked a Boro i found out my lips on the left side of my face refused to hold a smoke. Take it a step further
Fellas learn that being able to spit like a cannon, is a right of passage. Years and years of refining a skill that to my knoledge, the Military does'nt have a program for. The howlitser in my arsenal was now droling logies on to my boots, in my beard, shirt and pants. My tounge would not roll on the left side nor would my lips hold pressure required to launch a projectile succesfuly.
On one occation i was watching my 1 1/2 year old Noah. We were watching the tv and he was laying down on the floor having a bottle. I cant recall what i was getting up for but i stood up out of my lazy boy to head for the kitchin i think. Went to begin walking and nmy legs just froze, they would not move! This threw my balance off and i began to lean right twords my baby boy. It was as if i had become a tree and someone like myself was at my feet with a saw and put a face cut sighted right for Noah and was in the middle of the back cut, and like the trees, i began to fell. It all went so slow mo. I tryed in vain to change my trajectory or take a step but seemed all for not. Falling, all i remember was a set of big blue eyes suckin down his bottle checkin me out.
When i hit i was still screaming, the big blue eyes were as focused as ever and still content with his bottle. I missed him by like hairs. This episode SCARED LIFE OUT OF ME and i began to seriously wonder if it was safe for me to be at home with my family.
I developed a pretty good hitch in my step. My left leg began to drag when i would walk, it would'nt work from the knee down. From my hip down to my knee function was very limited.
MY mind waas begining to get very hot very quick. As if i wasnt already a hot head. My sons, at that time, had no way of possibly grasping what i was wrestling with and so the sibling rivalry and fighting REALY chaped my ass.  I would come unglued and get VERY loud with them.
Pane levals began to elivate substantily. Understanding what pills did and using them on a consistiant basis, i was learing, became very important. I had misunderstood thinking that Baclifin was for pain. When its actualy for spazums. Not only that, once you begin tacking Baclifin your body sortan becomes addicted to it and will spaz if it dont get its feel. Sometimes i would eat 1 in the morning, three in the afternoon and nun at night. Sometimess nun at all for the day. Doing this i think caused my spasims to exadgerate.
I still had'nt been introduced to anything for pain so i was still abusing Advil eating 5 or 6 of em at once every 4 or so hours. This is when what i refer to as evening walks" started. Staying seated for to long began to scare me, fearing (like elephants do) i might not get up after being down. In my case for to long, i would stager around. Through the entry way then the living room to the kitchen into the backroom and back to the entry way, then over agian, all night sometimes.
Consutation day came and to Dr Zs office we went. As he walked in the room i could see some papers in his grip. "Hello Mr and Mrs Reid." Taking a paer and placing infront of me "After looking at your MRI we need to switch you from Rebiff to Tysabri. The contrast dye showed us alot of activity which means what we are currently doing is not working." The paper infront of me was information  on Tysabri. That it was a infusion (IV) that was done once a month. And amonst some other things, that one in one thousand have died so far in connection to the drug. "Those are some tuff odds." We also filled out some financial help applications. Some insurance companeys wont cover it. I think it was called the care progra, i think. Tysabri is seven thousad dollars! monthly and thats just for the drug.
There was one more thing. "We need you to stop the rebiff and be clean of it for two weeks, before we start the new treatment. "That means, im having an attack and i have to do two weeks unmedicated! YOU GOTTA BE SHITIN ME."