IIIIIIiiii see your eyes

After dianoses, i suppose Dr Ren's observation of me being Cavaler was pretty accurate. Because all there was was Ms, Me and Cavaler. My attitude twords adversity  has always been, in one way or another, confrotational. It has been a very hard lesson for me to learn to "Pick your battles wisely" People would tell me from time to time "You cant win them all" My reply, altough not always verbal, amounted to "Buuullshit!" it cost me a carrier,relationships, loves, friends and family, although, of all the things i've lost, the worst being myself. For without it none of those other things mean shit. A struggle indeed.
Still not quite grasping the magnitude of what Mutipal sclrosis was. To me it ment difficulty walking, climbing, cuting, lifting.....peeing, shiting, fucking. All of which could be remidyed with steroids. Very dangerous out look.
Sex with MS was a blessing...for her. Lots o work for me. ".Extra" chewing gum for her. The regular 45 second orgasim was on strike, which ment more time in th saddel, which unbeknownst to me ment down time and recovery. Atleast i was able to get us.....er...her off, with her wanting more and me a "Dead fuck" respectively...of course. It's not that i could'nt get off, it just wasn't anything like the sexual Tyranasaurus i am!
However, it was Cavaler that got me up and to work everyday, it got me to the bar stools and dreamers 50% percent of what i was (still alot). It kept me running bids for both companys. It kept my resentment of all these afflictions and my embers glowing red. I was determined to make MS conform to me and not me to it. Another way i would acomplish this was with ridicule. For some of  the symptoms, the disese and for myself.
One example of this was the first few times i had to "make the unit swallow the sword" (cath) I just could not believe i was putting a 12" tube down my pice!! After the stunt was preformed "I amaze myself, i need to you tube this shit!!" This is how i would share my great feat with the bartop at the drink. Or threatn to get on the bartop and preform the helicopter with cath inserted. A few times i would start putting cocktail straws together. Someone would yell down the bar "Hey Chris!? What the hell you doin man!? I would keep on task and reply "I gotta piss bad!! I left my "rig" at home. Im gonna McGruber it." To which i got many different reactions. I found this absolutely halarious. One time i jumped down from the bar with my imposter sword in hand and headed for the banyo. Some started tripn out, one guy started to jump off his stool to persue "I gotta see this shit!"